So today, March 17th, 2007, St. Patricks Day, I played Guitar Hero for my first time. And I totally hated it. I think my best Guitar Hero performance will be my last Guitar Hero performance because after I tried to play "Mother" (As made famous by Danzig) on easy setting all I really wanted to do was smash the damn plastic guitar and set it on fire. There is something wrong about a guitar game that in order for me to succeed at it, I need to UN-learn how to play a real guitar. Now that I think about it, has anyone ever tried to smash the plastic guitar controller and set it on fire?



Maybe that move actually unlocks a treasure trove of extras. I am going to start spreading a lie to all the Guitar Hero addicted folks out there, that if you smash your controller and set it on fire during Psychobilly Freakout you unlock the secret "backstage party" mode wherein an orgy mini game begins with real hardcore nudity. So anyways. I think I best stay to the games with guns, because it occurs to me that I am only good at those games because I don't really know how to shoot a real one.