Life on Crutches


Life on crutches sucks. The next two months is gonna be a big pain in the ass, I predict. The other day I went to Kmart to get some supplies. I was greeted by a mentally disabled employee who suggested I get one of those electric carts to cruise around the store with. Good idea. While I was waiting for the cart, the guy started to tell me how he became the way he was. Turns out when he was 16 he got jumped by 20 guys. He said the only thing he remembers is a baseball bat coming down on his head, arms and legs. The beating put him in a coma for four and a half years. I guess being on crutches ain’t so bad. In the pocket of his red Kmart vesthe had a picture of his African Gray parrot who can apparently sing almost any Bob Marley song. I told him he should shoot it and put it up on youtube. I’m thinking of going back there to help him do that. I would love to see his parrot sing “No Woman No Cry”.
Didn’t think I’d ever be driving one of these. Moma Wu kept trying to jack it from me.
Today I went to The Museum Of Natural History with my lady. She had to push me around in a wheel chair with a bad front wheel. The museum is not as cool as I remembered as a kid. I don’t remember the stuffed animals looking so dusty and fake. The gems where cool and so were the dinosaur fosils but the rooms and rooms full of fake animals were really lame. Seems with the high ticket prices they could at least get someone to dust off those dioramas. I think I’ll be hitting the Met or the Moma sometime this week.
If this was my fibula, it wouldn’t have broke.


Leave a comment


Please note, comments must be approved before they are published