Never forget

I can't remember the last time I went to Disneyland. Right after working there in college, I've probably gone once or twice when relatives were in town. But for the longest time, nothing. Now that there are some new kids in the family, there is a reason to return.


I used to be a Jungle Cruise guy. Going on it six hours a day, six days a week, I still remember the spiel. It's changed since then--no more "Smiley" or six pack of toucans, a gorilla has been armed with a gun, and pihrannas have been added, for example--but I think I could still talk my way through the ride, I mean attraction, after doing it six hours a day, six days a week for an entire summer, Christmas holiday, and Easter break. I knew 90 percent of the skipper's jokes, and could have filled the spaces when he was quiet, too.


Here's my brother Greg and his daughter Saoirse on the rockets. There used to be white, Euro-looking ones over the Tomorrowland Terrace; now they're pushed out way into the hub and look retro-future like H.G. Wells. Besides Space Mountain (which no longer has Chili Peppers songs but has a house-music/rock soundtrack), that whole area is dead. Bring back Captain EO and America Sings!


Saoirse rides again--this time on the Dumbo ride with Greg. Or is that me? Can you tell? She really liked this ride, but was freaked out when we walked by the Matterhorn and heard the roaring yeti and screaming riders. Maybe even traumatized.

By the way, I think the addition of abominable snowmen to that bobsled ride was probably the last great revision made by the park. The newer rides are just junky, like the Knott's reject Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain with its garage-sale assortment of used animatronics. The inclusion of Johnny Depp to the Pirates of the Carribbean seems gratuitous, too. (I've never seen the Nightmare Before Christmas version of the Haunted Mansion, so maybe that's okay.)


There are other changes in the works. Tom Sawyer's Island is getting the Pirates treatment. The Submarine Ride is being turned into a Little Mermaid attraction. Oh well. At least you don't have to go across the street to Denny's for a bite afterward. There's a La Brea Bakery right where Downtown Disney begins.