Uncle Art

This morning my cousin Anthony called with bad news. His dad, my Uncle Art, passed away last night. This was a total shock to everyone, since he was in totally good shape, playing soccer a couple times a week. He collapsed on the field.

You might remember my uncle from my Hawaii blogs. He's the one who took us to Wailoa for shave ice, Liliha Bakery for cocoa puffs, and the Aloha Bowl swap meet for crack seed and fresh fruit with li-hing sauce. He has also rescued Wendy and me numerous times in Honolulu with rides from the airport and a place to crash.

So you could gather that he was a nice guy, but I don't think I ever indicated what an interesting person he was. On one hand, he was totally straight. After taking him to a screening of Dan's movie The Banquet at HIFF, he said something like, "I don't know why anyone would want to see a movie like that, where there's not one happy moment." (His wife, our Auntie Lucille, countered, "It was gorgeous and beautiful!") This kind of "zero or one" comment sort of made sense since he was a hardcore computer guy who put together PCs back in the day and was a computer science professor at UH--an excellent, mathematical, and ruthless Scrabble player, as well.

But he was a softie, too. When my brother and I were young, he'd wait for my cousins to go to bed. Then he'd break out some Lappert's ice cream hidden in the back of the freezer for us--his secret stash that his kids weren't allowed to eat! Also, while he loved his alma mater, the USC Trojans, he really loved living in Hawaii. He was always up for sharing its best parts. When we were kids, he took my brother and me to Jelly's to buy comics and records, Arnie Coward's Torture Museum, and an trashy theater to see Megadeth. More recently, he'd find hikes that were suitable for Wendy and me and make sure he took her to the best shrimp truck, and not some poseur business. (And we are both UCLA grads!) After this year's Christmas holiday reception hosted by newlyweds Ant and Elaine, Uncle Art dragged the party to Waoila--where I wanted to go because I was working on the shave ice article for GR52.

I think my uncle had an ideal life, balancing a sweet position in academia and swinging sabbaticals to places like England (where he bought my brother and me 2000 A.D. comics that we asked for) and China (so Ant got to spend the bulk of a summer with us!). He not only played soccer in several pick-up and league nights, but he traveled the world to play with other senior league players. Most recently, Budapest.

I could go on an on about Uncle Art--not even getting into how cool my auntie is and how great their kids are--but mostly I've been thinking about is how fortunate I've been to see him so much over last few years. Starting with Wendy and me getting married, there were the last two Hawaii International Film Festivals and my cousin's wedding events in L.A. and Honololu--all allowing me to see him more often than usual. In times like this, people often wonder things like "Why didn't I visit more?" or "How did we lose touch?" but I have the opposite situation. Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone; I've actually been appreciating him more than ever.

His dry wit and gruff comments yet tender presence will be missed by everyone who knew him.