GR Virtual Confession Booth [Archive]

Margin Walker

08-11-2002, 04:59 PM

Originally posted by fmstlr
Confessional administered by a qualified, certified, deputized, digitized, religious counselor: the Reverend fmstlr, trained in the Greed Orthodix tradition with a modern perspective.

"Trained in the tradition"? What kind of rinky dink credentials are "trained in the tradition"? You've got to get some real Minister credentials from the Universal Life Church if you expect to be taken seriously:

http://www.ulc.org

Those cats get free parking and all kinds of good shit.

fmstlr

08-11-2002, 05:07 PM

How did I guess the Pinoy response is the quickest? j/k

Don't be too down on yourself being flaky, that's just a sign. If you're intuned with yourself, you should be able to interpret that sign as follows:

You need to come down and party with the LA bots, for your flakiness certainly demands it. L.A. the city of flakes, awaits you.

Now go make peace with Malinda, cook her dinner or something like that.

BTW,
Don't tempt me again with your fishnet muscle shirt, that's really not appropriate attire for coming to confession. Did I just say 'coming'. Oooh...

TricycleBrain

08-11-2002, 09:34 PM

I met a woman from India at a party and formed a huge crush. Then I sent an E-mail to my friend, who's party it was, about how sexxy this chick was. I was still drunk.
I regret it. I don't know if it has been read yet. I was thinking about breaking into her house and deleting the E-mail before she reads it. Or actually stealing her computer if that's what needs to be done.

Whats your advice?

Also, do I have to stop the things I do when i think about this Indian woman? Will I really go blind?

________
xMISTRESSJESSAx (http://www.girlcamfriend.com/cam/xMISTRESSJESSAx/)

fmstlr

08-12-2002, 12:06 AM

Her Bindi has already seen the email before you hit that send button. It's too late for you to stop it. From now on, your new Indian name will be The Drunk Emailer. Smoke a peace pipe with her and let her lead the way.

Notice how I mixed up the South Asian Indian and the North American Indian in my response. That's the kind of high quality counseling you get for free.

YelloKitty

08-12-2002, 12:38 AM

Originally posted by fmstlr

Now go make peace with Malinda, cook her dinner or something like that.

thanks for having my back, fmstlr. you heard 'em den! WHERE'S MY CHICHARRON BULAKLAK?

p.s. we missed you.

08-12-2002, 01:15 AM

I have to explain to my mom where the entire bottle of Nyquil went. I don't know how.

fmstlr

08-12-2002, 01:34 AM

The cough fairy took it, and in return, put a shiny quarter under your pillow and cleaned the bathroom while your mom was at work.

Replacement Nyquil is readily available from the black market.

BTW, if YOU didn't do it, you need not be in here confessin', B.

evillilgirl

08-12-2002, 06:53 AM

lol I knew a guy who tried to kill himself by drinking too much nyquil and other things..he drank like 3 bottles of it.
So phunney cause there is an active drug in it that won't let your heart stop from drinking too much... just makes you go to sleep for a long time....and when you wake up you feel really sick. But after a couple of years this guy found a more potient way and when he was broought back from o.d.ing.... he is now paralyzed.
But still not dead.
ironic~ one who wants to leave so bad but something just wants him to stay...now he really will out live us all and he will be the old man who wanted to die so young but got stuck to watch everyone else go first.
ironically phunney i do have to say myself. I wonder what is karma is that would make things turn out this way.

evillilgirl

08-12-2002, 06:55 AM

my deep dark secrect for today~
i killed a bunch of ants for invading my house...first i sprayed them with windex then i sprayed them with poison~ i really enjoyed gasing them to death.

fmstlr

08-12-2002, 07:08 AM

soapy water works just as well as Windex, only 20 times cheaper. I don't condone killing, but if those little fuckers are getting into my tuna sammich, they have to pay one way or another.

Until the day when pests carry lunch money...

BTW, speaking of karma, I worry for you. SERIAL KILLER!

[Edited by fmstlr on 08-12-2002 at 08:19 AM]

evillilgirl

08-12-2002, 08:00 AM

LoL ..I tell you there were hundreds of ants crawling on the kitchen walls...They were in my sugar bowl and taken over..
My three year even said,"Mommy are the ants done terrorizing us yet?'
it's was pretty bad lol But man... a three year old who knows what
terrorizing is?
but I have confessed right lol

Cornelius

08-12-2002, 10:43 AM

hi

when i play w/ my roomates cats...i tend to talk like
a baby to them...

im i a bad guy...?

fmstlr

08-12-2002, 11:09 AM

Your nesting instinct is trying to bust out from under, keep it on chains until you're ready for it,

And no, you are not a bad guy

yet.

BTW, did you know this famous 80's pop song:

...Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just the one that claims that I'm the one

But the kid is not my son...

lolitacomplex

08-12-2002, 12:17 PM

i watch lots of talk shows, like sally, oprah, maury, montel and ananda lewis.....................................................................is that okay?
-jo

Cornelius

08-12-2002, 12:34 PM

Originally posted by fmstlr
Your nesting instinct is trying to bust out from under, keep it on chains until you're ready for it,

And no, you are not a bad guy

yet.

BTW, did you know this famous 80's pop song:

...Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just the one that claims that I'm the one

But the kid is not my son...

thanks...i feel better now
and now i think ill buy moonwalker
today on DVD...thats if it is on DVD?

fmstlr

08-12-2002, 02:20 PM

Originally posted by Cornelius
Originally posted by fmstlr
Your nesting instinct is trying to bust out from under, keep it on chains until you're ready for it,

And no, you are not a bad guy

yet.

BTW, did you know this famous 80's pop song:

...Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just the one that claims that I'm the one

But the kid is not my son...

thanks...i feel better now
and now i think ill buy moonwalker
today on DVD...thats if it is on DVD?

MOONWALKER is out on DVD!!? Good luck getting it.
You'll be standing in line for ...er, nanoseconds!

fmstlr

08-12-2002, 02:24 PM

Originally posted by Su_dong_po
Originally posted by lolitacomplex
i watch lots of talk shows, like sally, oprah, maury, montel and ananda lewis.....................................................................is that okay?
-jo

No, you're worse than Hitler.

Zcuse me, Su, let's see some diploma, are you qualified to give spiritual guidance on the internet?

Anyway, Lolitacomplex> watching talk shows is the best way to boost your self-image, imho.

"look at 'em low down white trash types..."

Just don't end up on one.

Now, what time does Montel come on dese days?

-minus_one

08-12-2002, 08:02 PM

somehow i ended up dating this pretty girl (who i kinda like) we have had sex a number of times but i feel terrible because a couple of months ago i made a vow to the girl i love that i would wait a year for her to come back to me (her time was up in canada and she went back to japan) being the scorpio dog that i am it wasn't long before my dick started doing the thinking for me...maybe it wouldn't have happened if i had more contact with her (she hates email although i have received a couple of phone calls from her). everything is kind of up in the air with her, she just got a job so i don't really know if this is so she can make some money to come back or if she is just putting down roots. i bought a calling card so i could call her but the day i decided to call (4am) i couldn't get through...i told the new girl that i love someone else (which is totally not fair to her cause she seems to like me a lot). shit, i really don't know what i'm doing now...

evillilgirl

08-13-2002, 05:29 AM

pssst>
I don't think I will ever get married.
Been with the same person for five years..we have two kids by each other> we have a good realationship and he asked me to marry him 2 years ago> 2 years later.... tell me why did we laugh really hard when the check out lady at walmart asked,"So when are you guy's getting married?"I got a big grin on my face and laughed...so did he.. >
Not from blushing or embrassment from a checkout person asking something so personal...you see we didn't even have our kids with us. But we were buying a car seat and snacks for our trip...
so I geuss she just figured.
But when she asked me...I didn't know what to say..because I have never planned on getting married.
I do plan to be faithful to my fiance and staying by him till I get wrinkles but I do not see us getting married.
Am I just a
Neo-Hippy.. or what>?

> Maybe I am just a big flake...

fmstlr

08-13-2002, 07:07 AM

I'm no Analist. You keep yo behind far from me.

I'm a breeder.

fmstlr

08-13-2002, 07:25 AM

Originally posted by -minus_one
somehow i ended up dating this pretty girl (who i kinda like) we have had sex a number of times but i feel terrible because a couple of months ago i made a vow to the girl i love that i would wait a year for her to come back to me (her time was up in canada and she went back to japan) being the scorpio dog that i am it wasn't long before my dick started doing the thinking for me...maybe it wouldn't have happened if i had more contact with her (she hates email although i have received a couple of phone calls from her). everything is kind of up in the air with her, she just got a job so i don't really know if this is so she can make some money to come back or if she is just putting down roots. i bought a calling card so i could call her but the day i decided to call (4am) i couldn't get through...i told the new girl that i love someone else (which is totally not fair to her cause she seems to like me a lot). shit, i really don't know what i'm doing now...

There's really no moral dilemma here, my child.

I'm quite sure that you have the experience of hearing a female friend told you that when you say "I love you forever and ever and ever and ever..." while your heart is not in it, then it didn't count. It's insincere, it meant nothing, it's just empty words, etc.

Well, just apply the same rationale to your penis, i.e. if you screw another woman and your heart is not in it, (just your little member itchy for some action,) IT DOESN'T COUNT either. So don't feel guilty about it.

BTW, according to my magic 8, better odds are with the new girl. I'm hearing "...Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you, or are you going back to the one you love?..." drifting thru from the cheesy softrock station.

Generally, long distance relationship is something you shouldn't try at home. Leave it to the professionals.
Sister 'Chasity' Belt here at the chapel is saying a prayer on your behalf. Seeing her on her knees is too much for my imagination, frankly.

fmstlr

08-13-2002, 07:28 AM

Originally posted by evillilgirl
pssst>
I don't think I will ever get married.
Been with the same person for five years..we have two kids by each other> we have a good realationship and he asked me to marry him 2 years ago> 2 years later.... tell me why did we laugh really hard when the check out lady at walmart asked,"So when are you guy's getting married?"I got a big grin on my face and laughed...so did he.. >
Not from blushing or embrassment from a checkout person asking something so personal...you see we didn't even have our kids with us. But we were buying a car seat and snacks for our trip...
so I geuss she just figured.
But when she asked me...I didn't know what to say..because I have never planned on getting married.
I do plan to be faithful to my fiance and staying by him till I get wrinkles but I do not see us getting married.
Am I just a
Neo-Hippy.. or what>?

> Maybe I am just a big flake...

I don't get it.
What are you confessing?

The only thing that remotely resembles a SIN here is your shopping at Walmart.

evillilgirl

08-13-2002, 07:35 AM

well shit < forget it
well shopping at walmart is a sin> but when only have soo much for kid stuff> diapers and what not> why not walmart..it's worth the five minutes walk thru of the store to see all the people that have been hit with the ugly stick most of their lives> (talking about rednecks)
lol i geuss i am more worried if it is wrong to stay with someone that you both kindof like made this lie that you were getting married and know for fact you won't> doesn't matter to me but in some ways people look at me weird and ask me dumb ass questions like , oh you have kids? same father?
ofcourse what do I look like? not saying that people that do have kids with other people are bad in any way but I look really young so I am assuming that invertantly they are asking if :
"I am a slut or not?"
I'm askin that in your opinion is ok not be morally correct with society and their term of marriage?That is it a sin that I really don't believe I have to show everyone a ring finger? Is it bad to still wear the ring? Lol I don't care any which way..just wanted to share my weird lil meaningless secret lol and plus i haven't had coffee yet>
sorry for the slurs

[Edited by evillilgirl on 08-13-2002 at 08:49 AM]

TricycleBrain

08-13-2002, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by evillilgirl
my deep dark secrect for today~
i killed a bunch of ants for invading my house...first i sprayed them with windex then i sprayed them with poison~ i really enjoyed gasing them to death.

The more posts I read from you the more I like you. Keep up the good work and never surrender! Ants may take the picnic grounds, but we can make a stand in our own homes!!!
________
Lovely Wendie99 (http://www.lovelywendie99.com/)

fmstlr

08-13-2002, 03:15 PM

it is immoral for society to oppress its constituents.

it is not immoral to be not married to the one you love.

it is not immoral to have children.

it is still immoral to shop at Walmart.

Now for more deeper darker secrets....anyone?

ocd

08-13-2002, 03:22 PM

I tend to spend a lot of time on this messageboard instead of actually working, but that's kind of obvious.

tsar nicholas

08-13-2002, 08:12 PM

I am not who I claim to be.
I am actually Spiro Agnew.

fmstlr

08-13-2002, 08:26 PM

Originally posted by tsar nicholas
I am not who I claim to be.
I am actually Spiro Agnew.

Will you run again?
Can I do your campaign button?

BTW, stick with the tsar nicholas ID, most people in this country have not a clue.

thanks for stopping by. Now do you want to see my stash of nun porn?

Margin Walker

08-14-2002, 12:51 AM

Originally posted by evillilgirl
well shit < forget it
well shopping at walmart is a sin> but when only have soo much for kid stuff> diapers and what not> why not walmart..it's worth the five minutes walk thru of the store to see all the people that have been hit with the ugly stick most of their lives> (talking about rednecks)

You shop at Wal-Mart? <----EVIL!!!

evillilgirl

08-14-2002, 06:23 AM

Originally posted by Margin Walker
Originally posted by evillilgirl
well shit < forget it
well shopping at walmart is a sin> but when only have soo much for kid stuff> diapers and what not> why not walmart..it's worth the five minutes walk thru of the store to see all the people that have been hit with the ugly stick most of their lives> (talking about rednecks)

You shop at Wal-Mart? <----EVIL!!!
hey i support a family of 4> give me a break ^_^
mauhz ....

surely wal-mart is Atleast good enuff for me to JUST buy diapers at

> they are just going to get shit upon and thrown away anywayz>
lol ^_^

[Edited by evillilgirl on 08-14-2002 at 07:52 AM]

evillilgirl

08-14-2002, 06:24 AM

Originally posted by TricycleBrain
Originally posted by evillilgirl
my deep dark secrect for today~
i killed a bunch of ants for invading my house...first i sprayed them with windex then i sprayed them with poison~ i really enjoyed gasing them to death.

The more posts I read from you the more I like you. Keep up the good work and never surrender! Ants may take the picnic grounds, but we can make a stand in our own homes!!!
lol thanx tri ^_^

neku74

08-14-2002, 07:04 AM

Originally posted by fmstlr
Now for more deeper darker secrets....anyone?

gah, see my post in hunkmania.

lakebottom

03-11-2004, 05:57 PM

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Back in September of 2003, I was assigned an article idea by a newspaper. After I bumbled with the article, the editor decided she didn't want to use it. I then went and sold the idea to another publication, which printed it. At the time I didn't realize how immoral this was because I thought an idea unused by one newsroom could be used elsewhere.

A week ago I asked the editor of the newspaper if she would write me a letter or recommendation, thinking we had solved the problem, but the article's recent publication came to her attention and now she really disapproves of me.

I really do feel I messed up and sincerely seek forgiveness.

cabbagechild

03-11-2004, 06:49 PM

i profess to having a deep and burning hatred of the one called lakebottom.

:)

cabbagechild

03-11-2004, 06:54 PM

and you need to get donkey fucked in the panda.

again.

:)

lakebottom

03-11-2004, 06:56 PM

Originally posted by cabbagechild
i profess to having a deep and burning hatred of the one called lakebottom.

:)

What's your beef with me? Where and when did it start?

I didn't know I could inspire such feelings in someone I've never even met.

Or are you just playing some weird game?

cabbagechild

03-11-2004, 07:02 PM

do you think i'm weird?

lakebottom

03-11-2004, 07:04 PM

Originally posted by cabbagechild
do you think i'm weird?

real roundabout bastard, aren't ya?

cabbagechild

03-11-2004, 07:05 PM

^you know i'm just flirting with you, right?

cabbagechild

03-11-2004, 07:06 PM

Originally posted by puppy fields

well...you do seem preoccupied by the subject.

you spelled "weird" wrong.

cabbagechild

03-11-2004, 07:07 PM

ok.

lakebottom

03-11-2004, 07:07 PM

Love/Hate

same thing. I should've seen it all along. You hate my overblown posts so much, that you actually love me. Or vice-versa.

lakebottom

03-11-2004, 07:10 PM

Originally posted by puppy fields
Actually i think he just picks a random person...and just goes.

if that's the case, someone needs to get a grip. geesh.

fmstlr

03-11-2004, 09:44 PM

Originally posted by lakebottom
Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Back in September of 2003, I was assigned an article idea by a newspaper. After I bumbled with the article, the editor decided she didn't want to use it. I then went and sold the idea to another publication, which printed it. At the time I didn't realize how immoral this was because I thought an idea unused by one newsroom could be used elsewhere.

A week ago I asked the editor of the newspaper if she would write me a letter or recommendation, thinking we had solved the problem, but the article's recent publication came to her attention and now she really disapproves of me.

I really do feel I messed up and sincerely seek forgiveness.

you've made a mistake, you have not sinned. There's no need for a confession, just an apology to the offended party.

watch out for cyber-stalkers.

Lain

03-12-2004, 03:25 AM

I enjoy playing wrath of god with bugs.

bugs: NOOO NOOO, IT'S THE RED HEAD. SHE'S GOT BOILING WATER AGAIN.

lakebottom

03-12-2004, 08:03 AM

Originally posted by fmstlr

you've made a mistake, you have not sinned. There's no need for a confession, just an apology to the offended party.

watch out for cyber-stalkers.

for some reason, your post makes me feel a lot better. thanks. I've been feeling real tense and glum about this.

cabbagechild

03-12-2004, 12:03 PM

lakebottom:

i'm going to stop harrassing you. if you can call that harrassing. anyway, it made no sense, and i realize that.

you don't need to put up with that shit.

let's let bygones be bygones, okay?

:)

lakebottom

03-12-2004, 03:58 PM

Originally posted by cabbagechild
lakebottom:

i'm going to stop harrassing you. if you can call that harrassing. anyway, it made no sense, and i realize that.

you don't need to put up with that shit.

let's let bygones be bygones, okay?

:)

dude, I don't really have a problem with being harassed, I just have a hard time understanding if you're kidding, or being serious, or somewhere in between. but I guess that's the point, eh?

anyway, I don't hate nobody. mad hi-fives

key_loser

03-12-2004, 04:46 PM

Nobody will thank you the next time Nobody logs in, I'm sure.

harold

03-13-2004, 02:40 AM

once, when i was in middle school, i threw a gummy bear at a lunch lady from far away, on a dare. a few days later, the principal announced on the intercom that if it happened again, they would suspend snack cart privileges forever.

fmstlr

03-13-2004, 06:29 PM

what you didn't know is that the lunch lady's been sneezing into your food almost daily. Now you're even.

nagasawa

12-11-2006, 01:09 PM

You know when some idiot comes across 2 lanes of traffic and blocks a double turn lane going the other direction? Yeah well, the other day I was driving back from lunch and this guy totally cut me off and sat there blocking both turn lanes for like 30 seconds. I was running a little late so I shook my head and gave him the stinkeye through my darkly tinted sunglasses.

Then when he finally did drive off he gave me the finger and voiced unmistakably the words FUCK YOU. That shit pissed me off so I hung a u-turn, tailed and hounded the guy for like half an hour, no joke. I was pointing at him and doing my best Goldberg imitation when he looked at me wide-eyed in his rearview mirror. After a while the guy started driving like a bat out of hell so I did a u again and laughed my way back to work. Fucker.

shawgirl74

12-11-2006, 01:29 PM

Originally posted by nagasawa
You know when some idiot comes across 2 lanes of traffic and blocks a double turn lane going the other direction? Yeah well, the other day I was driving back from lunch and this guy totally cut me off and sat there blocking both turn lanes for like 30 seconds. I was running a little late so I shook my head and gave him the stinkeye through my darkly tinted sunglasses.

Then when he finally did drive off he gave me the finger and voiced unmistakably the words FUCK YOU. That shit pissed me off so I hung a u-turn, tailed and hounded the guy for like half an hour, no joke. I was pointing at him and doing my best Goldberg imitation when he looked at me wide-eyed in his rearview mirror. After a while the guy started driving like a bat out of hell so I did a u again and laughed my way back to work. Fucker.

you are a bona-fide stud!

ocd

12-11-2006, 01:31 PM

Best road rage of the day award!

650lex

12-11-2006, 01:38 PM

thumbs up!

Iago

12-11-2006, 01:40 PM

Ha.

ja.net

12-12-2006, 06:54 PM

ja.net

12-12-2006, 06:56 PM

To wit (large image):

http://static.flickr.com/73/159353237_db6fc245ea_o.jpg

'jim

12-12-2006, 07:45 PM

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1054013775

nauism

12-12-2006, 07:59 PM

i am the best driver in the world.

randall fairbrook

12-12-2006, 08:11 PM

Originally posted by 'jim
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1054013775

not fake enough

ja.net

12-12-2006, 08:35 PM

Originally posted by 'jim
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1054013775

hahah what are they, canadian?

blah blah eh, blah blah eh

'jim

12-13-2006, 06:38 AM

I like how the guy in the BWM is packing and the rednecks aren't. Must be Canucks.

'jim

12-13-2006, 06:40 AM

I mean....Canadian-North Americans.

stinky

12-15-2006, 10:57 PM

I pooped in the urinal.

nagasawa

05-29-2007, 12:49 PM

I'm trying to be nice on the phone this week. I set myself a mini goal of not doing the downward spiral when talking to a douchebag.

Also seen a lot of road rage incidents during the last week so I'm trying to be nicer even when I'm the victim. Dude cut me off yesterday and when I rolled up next to him in the turn lane I flashed him a big smile and gave him two thumbs up. Pissed him off - made me laugh.

premium

05-29-2007, 01:04 PM

i make myself that promise every week

nagasawa

05-29-2007, 01:06 PM

one day at a time...

easy does it...

nagasawa

05-29-2007, 01:25 PM

I always play air drums when I hear Madonna's Like a Virgin.

Mutterlein

05-29-2007, 01:42 PM

between the fall of 2005 and the summer of 2006 I fell into a bad crowd. It was also a period when I wasn't posting often if at all. They were a fun crowd, too much fun. A lot of drugs, outlandish outfits, parties, party crashing, sketchiness, paranoia, and in the end, very bad vibes. I eventually got sick of it all and cut those people completely out of my life. I see them once in a while, they've befriended a meth dealer so one can imagine what episodes they get into. A longtime friend who was with me before we fell into that crowd is no longer a longtime friend. She's made the decision to maintain links with them and I can't really respect that. She's also an ungrateful brat. But these are life lessons.

kingka

05-29-2007, 03:32 PM

I caved and went to see my ex, (who I still have feelings for) and gave her a gift for her birthday. even thought I told a girl who is really into me and I'm almost considering seeing, that I don't talk to her anymore. and now i'm sad.

syngeon

05-29-2007, 04:32 PM

Originally posted by Mutterlein
between the fall of 2005 and the summer of 2006 I fell into a bad crowd. It was also a period when I wasn't posting often if at all. They were a fun crowd, too much fun. A lot of drugs, outlandish outfits, parties, party crashing, sketchiness, paranoia, and in the end, very bad vibes. I eventually got sick of it all and cut those people completely out of my life. I see them once in a while, they've befriended a meth dealer so one can imagine what episodes they get into. A longtime friend who was with me before we fell into that crowd is no longer a longtime friend. She's made the decision to maintain links with them and I can't really respect that. She's also an ungrateful brat. But these are life lessons.

This sounds rather fun. I need a life.