pick up lines!!! as in.....got any?

[BAOH]

to date, my favorite is:

*tap her shoulder*

"you like diamonds?", then follow up with..."you like nice things?"

never worked, but it's funny as fuck.

Originally posted by BAOH
to date, my favorite is:

*tap her shoulder*

"you like diamonds?", then follow up with..."you like nice things?"



?? Prease exprain jokee to me.

That shirt is very becoming on you, but then, if I were on you I'd be coming too.

Your clothes would look great in a pile on my bedroom floor.

[ironmonkey]

you:"hey can you give me directions?"
girl:"sure. where to?"
you:"your heart, cause i got lost in your eyes."

that one, or:

"hi. we're gonna have intercourse now."

either one.

naw just kidding, i suggest NOT using a pick up line of any kind. cause they dont work, and if you do use them, girls will laugh at you. and if they dont laugh at you, they are just waiting until youre gone so she can tell her friends, THEN laugh at you. if you wanna meet a girl, just go "hi. im(insert your name here)... whats yours?"


"damn baby, you have a sharp sense of humor/wish i woulda bumped into your frame alot sooner..."-ghost

I only use them on girls I already know. They get good laughs. :)

[ironmonkey]

Originally posted by ironmonkey

"damn baby, you have a sharp sense of humor/wish i woulda bumped into your frame alot sooner..."-ghost

my bad. its actually:

"just jokin baby, you have a sharp sense of humor/wish i woulda bumped into your frame alot sooner..."-ghostface

Originally posted by ironmonkey

naw just kidding, i suggest NOT using a pick up line of any kind. cause they dont work, and if you do use them, girls will laugh at you. and if they dont laugh at you, they are just waiting until youre gone so she can tell her friends, THEN laugh at you.


Now you tell me that? I am going to sue all of you for the humiliating laughs and slaps I have been getting because I follow your advice.

I don't mind the getting drinks thrown in my face because those are free. Free drinks are always good.

[Umbilicus]

"my car just hit a water buffalo, can i borrow your towel?"

[Yumyumcha]

Originally posted by Umbilicus
"my car just hit a water buffalo, can i borrow your towel?"

Wasn't that Chevy Chase in Fletch...or does it go back even further than that?

[Umbilicus]

Originally posted by Yumyumcha
Originally posted by Umbilicus
"my car just hit a water buffalo, can i borrow your towel?"

Wasn't that Chevy Chase in Fletch...or does it go back even further than that?

Yeah. I don't know if its a reference to something else.

[Mikio4]

This one is courtesy of a friend who is a notorious provacateur: (to a woman, or I guess a guy too) What does cum taste like?

Guaranteed to earn a slap or a drink in the face.

[BooBoo-Kitty]

Originally posted by herrokitty
how bout.
baby, if you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning!
do you eat alot of lucky charms, cause you look magically delicious!
baby, if you were words on a page, you'de be what they call FINE PRINT
Honey, I could see myself falling madly in bed with you.
Have you been dipped in babe sauce?

wait. i think i said some of these before, in another thread...
[/B]

hahahah!!! fine print!!! i'mma have to use that. that and the madly in bed thang. we'll see ey?

some o mine:

girl, did it hurt? (she replies "what?" or gives quizzical look) When you fell from heaven, did it hurt?

if i said you had a beautiful body and that i wanted to sleep with you, would you run away and/or throw your drink in my face? (i just can't get this one to work!?!)

not mine but outkast:

yo' daddy must've gave you a teaspoon of honey every night before you went to bed, or was it a pack o now n laters cuz you tha sweetest thang on my head.

[yellahbastard]

if a girl you didn't know slapped you? just curious

[falcor]

i'd be pissed as fuck dammit. i'd slap her back and then some. make her eat dinuguan or something. fart on her. give her a noogie.

[Ryan]

Originally posted by archonemis
Nice shoes . . . wanna fuck?
i think with this one you could say nice anything and itd be funny

[Zaius]

Originally posted by falcor
i'd be pissed as fuck dammit. i'd slap her back and then some. make her eat dinuguan or something. fart on her. give her a noogie.

Hey, I just ate my first meal of dinuguan! That shit is good! I just went to lunch with my philipino friend from work and he bet me a DVD I couldn't eat a whole meal of dinuguan....yeaahaaa! Lunch AND a free DVD.

[BooBoo-Kitty]

Originally posted by falcor
i'd be pissed as fuck dammit. i'd slap her back and then some. make her eat dinuguan or something. fart on her. give her a noogie.

shit in her pillowcase? or in this instance, her purse?

What about dissing replies?

You say baby you look hot tonight and she says too bad I can't say the same for you. ;]

[Edited by kikaida on 05-16-2001 at 05:56 PM]

[yellahbastard]

no i mean, if you're a guy, and say for example at a club some woman that you don't know slaps you due to a conversation you have at the club. hypothetically speaking of course. and none of your homegirls are around to kick her ass.

[BooBoo-Kitty]

Originally posted by kikaida
What about dissing replies?

You say baby you look hot tonight and she says too bad I can't say them for you. ;]

i kinda like this one:

you: hi, wanna dance?
her: no, i'm busy right now (or some other negatory statement)
you: no, i said you look fat in those pants!


makes me smile anyway.

[BAOH]

Originally posted by kikaida
Originally posted by BAOH
to date, my favorite is:

*tap her shoulder*

"you like diamonds?", then follow up with..."you like nice things?"



?? Prease exprain jokee to me.


hahah, that's the thing.....it's not a joke. i've seen a dude bust that line..."do you like diamonds"!??!? heheheh....but for reals, girls dig this one:


*tap them on the shoulder*
*she turns around*
"no right?!?"
*walk away*

[scuba keef]

Yo wuz up can I blaze some chronic with you?

[shagwerks]

Hey baby - can i get some fries to go along with that shake?

A variation on the nice shoes routine - which actually worked for me once. I think i caught the girl off guard. Here's the situation:

I was about 18 or 19 and i was in language school. Every weekend everyone would go to the 18 and up Postgrad Club on the Naval Postgraduate School post in Monterey. I had a few too many Screwdriver's purchased by an older friend of mine and he wanted me to start paying for my own shit. So between him and a couple of other guys, we made a bet. I had to ask 10 different girls out - using only this: "Hi, my name's Damon. Wanna fuck?" In my somewhat inebriated state i agreed. The deal was - if i got at least one girl to accept - i was off the hook. Well, the Postgrad Club was pretty much a meat market anyhow - so it was a 50/50 shot as far as i was concerned. In sequence, as best as i remember. The responses werre:

1. No fucking way - dirtbag.
2. Laughter.
3. I've got a boyfriend and he'll kick your ass. He's a Marine.
4. You want to do what?
5. Uh - yeah. Right. Whatever.
6. Laughter. Coy looks. "Sure, but can we wait until after the club closes?"
At this point i tried to get my friends to let me stop because i got a yes - but they insisted i had four to go.
7. I got slapped - spilled my drink. Her friends had to pull her off me.
8. More laughter.
9. You're not my type - but even if you were, i wouldn't fuck you with my friend's pussy.
10. Another yes.

I picked the first one. She was cuter. But it just goes to show you - in a meat market, honesty counts.

[Starwind]

I actully made this one up myself.
"Hey, have you ever been to the moon?"
(If she says 'No'), " Then strap on your space boots because I'm your love rocket."
(Goes especially well if you act like a member of the Rat Pack while saying this.)

[jen_er_ator]

My personal favorites:
1) Your name must be candy cuz ya look soooo sweeet
2) Are you greek? Cuz you look like a goddess
3) Damn! You beautiful! What are you?

There's some more, but they escape me at the moment...

[spanky]

Coupla girlfriends of mine came back from a Mexican vacation recently and they shot me this story:

They're walking down the street, pass by a pair of appreciatively ogling boys. Exchange looks, no words. Four or five steps later, one of the boys calls out, "Oh ladies! You dropped something!"
My girlfriends look instinctively at the ground behind them, see nothing dropped, and look back at the boys. One of the boys clutches his chest, then droops his shoulders and continues an octave lower:
"My heart..."
My girlfriends laugh, keep walking, do not shag the boys, but return home to tell the story and remark on how cute same boys were.
I get the impression that if there was a follow-up, it mighta worked.
Lesson learned: clever pick-up lines require comprehensive follow-up.

[fmstlr]

1. What's a nice girl like you doing in my gutter mind?

2. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

[Old_Skool_Yukio_Mishima]

What ever happened to the old fashioned way to pick up women? You know, punch em' in the stomach and bend em' over a table and jam in em' in the rear.

[Zaius]

jam 'em in the ear? damn, dude...how can you get it in there?

Hey, nice legs. What time do they open?

while i was walking to class one day. this dude was sitting on the concrete steps to my building. he said hey how are you? and i said fine and he said yes you are.

*eye roll*

[frogbelly]

Originally posted by girmander
while i was walking to class one day. this dude was sitting on the concrete steps to my building. he said hey how are you? and i said fine and he said yes you are.

*eye roll*


That dude had been waiting to use that line for so long, that's what is pathetic.
I'm telling you lines are just not working. I stick by my original which is whisper the theme to Shaft in her ear.

.. pick up lines? c'mon.. y'all don't really need em'.. but hey thats yer thang.. lamest pick up line i heard..." if i could change the alphabet..i would put u and i together" er sumptin' like dat.. funniest.." nice legs..what time do they open?"

[frogbelly]

Let's stamp out redundancy! Let's stamp out redundancy! Let's stamp out redundancy!

[YelloKitty]

haha, funny thread. i was thinking about starting a similar one since i heard a really funny one today.

dood goes: "so do you smoke?"
me says: "yeah."
dood goes: "you must smoke cus you're on fire."
me whispers in friend's ear: "i'm scared."

dood continued to comment on how perfect the tree next to us looked. i think he was high.

[YelloKitty]

aww jeez. i'm sorry. your story came straight out of a lynch film or something. creepy.

crappin you negative, eh? a reference to raising arizona or the grifter's second album? ooh, and a pavement quote too. um. so. uh. ya wanna hang out or something?

[drahcirual]

waiting for the walk signal, i saw a group of group of asian gangster girls a week ago. and among them stood out this super fine woman in dark dress: trenchcoat, long skirt, and boots, pigtails(i know. but it soooooo worked for her!)-like the chow yun fat coolness equivalent. if somehow i find out that she sported a 'new york dolls' pin, i'd probably drop dead.
oh, how can i possibly flirt with a woman like that. impossible!

[shagwerks]

1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.

2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?

3) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?

5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.


Yeah baby.. yeah... grr.. very grr...

[Old_Skool_Yukio_Mishima]

Yukio offers the ladies a peek at his large "sword".

[XtremeAche]

here's one:

do you believe in love at first sight? or do i need to walk by you a second time?

[frogbelly]

Here's one my friend Gus used to use:
Skateboard much?
I don't think it worked but this was coming from a dude who failed a roadside sobriety test and he doesn't drink. He also wore a big green army coat in the dead of summer. He's on some island now getting tan with girls and running on the beach at night.

[yangnome]

nice ass..can I wear it for a hat... this chick in berkeley used it on me I think its from an old steve martin movie though

[see_jen_run]

what about...

"come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up"

[hippyjonny]

Originally posted by yangnome
nice ass..can I wear it for a hat... this chick in berkeley used it on me I think its from an old steve martin movie though

I don't know why but that shit is hella funny

[ladybugsuperfly]

the sex aquisitiong software is perfect for this thread!

http://toy.thespark.com/pickup/index.cgi

Girl, if your ass was illegal I sure would like to take a bite out of crime! *ducks*

[kamenriderv3]

hi. do you want do some genetic engineering?

[Foehammer]

I had a pal that would go to ask girls to dance, if they said no he would say something to the effect of; its Okay I had to take a shit anyway!!

[col]

Hey folks, I'm new here, so I thought I would impress you all with a tale from one of my many crass and classless friends. This took place a couple of years ago when I and a couple chums went to a area bar. We were all in the bag pretty hard, so my man Baldy being the class act that he is, felt it was time to bust some lines. But we wanted to have a laugh, so we told him to use the dumbest line that he can think of. I kid you not, this is what he said to the girl at the next table.
Baldy - 'Hey girl, can I jump in your pants?
Her - ???
Baldy - 'Cuz looking at your hot bod just made me shit in mine.'
I've never seen a more confused look on someones face. She told her friends and we were promptly told to go fuck ourselves, or something to that extext. We got up and walked out while trying not to pee our pants from laughing. We can always count on good old Baldy to come with the lines.
Another class move was by another friend at a club one night. Walks up to a girl, tries some line. She blows him off, he drops his sunglasses (don't ask me why he was wearing them in a club) a la Corey Hart the Canadian Dream, and says 'Oh shit! You ARE that ugly!'. Everyone in a 10 ft. radius heard it loud and clear. Classic ego re-construction.
I'm not one for pick up lines. I don't think I'm bold enough for that. But I have been known to drop the 'Hey honey, that's justa fuel tank for my love machine'.
Yes this is my first post, but please don't judge me on my idiocy.

col

Next time you're with a friend and they're 'macking' on someone, when they walk back over to you, pass them a napkin and tell them...
'Wipe that chin playboy (or girl). You're spitting to much game.' If you're friend struck out, it'll help them to laugh it off. If they did good, it's like a pat on the back. Everyone's a winner! Yah for humanity!

[key_loser]

A guy at work that appears to be Brazilian/Russian and speaks with what, I guess, is a Brazilian/Russian accent:

You are my eyedrops.

[charlos3000]

"so, are we gonna fuck or what?"

[sanjay]

i just grab their wrists and then tickle them till they pee themselves. then i give them a pair of terry cloth shorts to change into.

[golivar]

"somyfriendtoldmeyoutoldhimyouwantedtomakeoutwithme."

[golivar]

GIGLI 4 LIFE (LYFE?)

what up bitch, you got change for a dollar?

[EK-4000]

hi, i'm gay.

[golivar]

Originally posted by EK-4000
hi, i'm gay.

that's the winner, right there.

yeah, that's a good one!

[golivar]

Hi, I live in Paris.

[EK-4000]

Originally posted by golivar
Hi, I live in Paris.

that tends not to work when you're already in paris

[golivar]

picky french women

[golivar]

Hi, say hello to my friend, Paris Hilton.

[EK-4000]

voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

this only works in english-speaking countries, tho.

[35ft6]

Hi, I'm white.

(works well with Asian girls)

[EK-4000]

hi, i'm a thai transexual.

[Jake]

Hey baby, ever had your ass licked by a guy with a scarred tongue?

[sanjay]

i think Takuan said it best when she told RF...

[sanjay]

fuck god

[EK-4000]

nice.

[sanjay]

Originally posted by Tarasitah
:confused:

its from RF's sig. i was being immature like a 9 year old. sorry for offending/confusing :o

[sanjay]

Originally posted by randall fairbrook
roofleflakes!

U MADE ME LOOK LIKE A BLASPHEMIST :(

[sanjay]

Originally posted by Tarasitah


Haha, duh.
:p

THANK GOD U READ IT BEFORE THE BASTARD CHANGED IT.

[EK-4000]

:confused:

[EK-4000]

i think we all knew that.

[sanjay]

Originally posted by randall fairbrook
how did you know i was a bastard?

thru this...

http://www.astrologyhoroscopes.info/cgi-bin/astrology_horoscopes_books.cgi?input_item=0312284861&input_search_type=image

[sanjay]

Originally posted by EK-4000
i think we all knew that.

quit cokblockin mister pommes frites.

[jsoy]

i've thought of this and i think one that might work....is just have a good story....like not as basic as 'don't i know you from somewhere?' more in depth like.. hey weren't you that girl in my highschool that....and the story has to be super super super good...obviously if the story is good enough she'll listen..i think once you have a good one you can use it again and again... unfortunately i haven't figured out one...but fortunately i dont need to....

[Harry Caray]

Hey! I got one!

"Hey! Hey there you beautiful thing. Let's watch my extended DVD of the 1907 World Series while we eat hot dogs and try not to catch mad cow!"

[DJ LunchBox]

So do you rent movies here often? :D

[Batsu]

Originally posted by Tarasitah
The worst one I've heard:

Tara: *sneezes*
Weirdo: "Wow you have the most adorable sneeze."
Tara: "Oh uhm, thanks."
Weirdo: "You know they say sneezes are like tiny orgasms."
Tara: "I've never heard that."
Weirdo: "Well you know, with all sexual activity there is some fluid release." *winks*

I have heard that there are people out there with a sneezing fetish. It sounds like you met the sneeze fetish webmaster.

Gesundheit!

[35ft6]

"Sooooo... do you like comic books?"

[Margin Walker]

Originally posted by 35ft6
"Sooooo... do you like comic books?"
:eek:
Damn woman, you're like the Hallmark Cards of pick-up lines! :cool:

[akuma]

"anal sex is the new black"

[35ft6]

Originally posted by Margin Walker

:eek:
Damn woman, you're like the Hallmark Cards of pick-up lines! :cool: Well, I'm not a woman but compliment noted. :) I was just quoting comic book guy from the Unitarian episode of The Simpsons.

[BrotherV2.0]

You got a joint? It'd be a lot cooler if you did....

[Denstradamus]

Hello, my name is __________.

*firm handshake, a smile, and eye contact*

Originally posted by Denstradamus
Hello, my name is __________.

*firm handshake, a smile, and eye contact*

ding ding ding! We have a winner!

[beanie]

are you jamaican? cause jah-makin me crazy

are you from tennesse? cause youre the only ten I see.

hey baby the word of the is legs...now lets go home and spread the word.


*shrugs*

[beanie]

turn around and touch your ankles.

[Final Boss]

I'mma bachelor baby, fuck what chu' heard!

[BrotherV2.0]

Okay, catch you later!!

[archonemis]

Bobby: Hi, Robin. How're you feeling today?
Amber: My name is Amber.

[ocd]

Hey, baby. Tell me your sign. Just don't tell me it's "stop".

[tonybricker]

I was in Mexico this weekend, and was drunk and in the hot tub. I asked some girl if anyone had told her that she was beautiful lately, just to entertain myself. She seemed to like it though, she didn't leave or slap me or anything.

[shibire]

Some cheesy ones that I've heard in passing:

1) Hey baby are you tired? *pause* Because you've been running through my mind all day.

2) If I told you, you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

[tonybricker]

do girls like it when you buy them drinks if they don't know you? I've gotten mixed results

[ninjaKid]

Originally posted by tonybricker
I was in Mexico this weekend, and was drunk and in the hot tub. I asked some girl if anyone had told her that she was beautiful lately, just to entertain myself. She seemed to like it though, she didn't leave or slap me or anything.

isn't that a Rod Stewart song or somethin?

[ninjaKid]

Originally posted by Denstradamus
Hello, my name is __________.

*firm handshake, a smile, and eye contact*

how about firm buttgrab, a grin, and boob contact?

works for me every time!!!

[tonybricker]

Originally posted by ninjaKid


isn't that a Rod Stewart song or somethin?

funny you should mention Rod, I had a pretty long conversation about him while in Mexico.

but not with the girl in the hot tub.

Our conversation went like this:

"has anybody told you that you're beautiful lately?"

(apparently surprised that I'd talk to her after sitting silently in the same hot tub for half an hour) "no, why?"

"I was just wondering."

(silence)

[lakebottom]

"Don't look at my crotch, I have a huge boner right now."

[wnoodle]

Originally posted by ninjaKid
how about firm buttgrab, a grin, and boob contact?

works for me every time!!!
And we all know how well that's been going for you lately.

I jest! I jest! You're so money!

[kamenriderv3]

Originally posted by ninjaKid


isn't that a Rod Stewart song or somethin?

i think rod sang "have i told you lately, that i love you". i think.

[wnoodle]

^ You are correct, sir.

Originally posted by lakebottom
"Don't look at my crotch, I have a huge boner right now."

Whether this one works or not, it gets 'em taking a gander at your nether regions. Let's hope that holds their interest. :p

[ninjaKid]

i heard this one on Star Trek:

"i dream of a place where your eyes are the stars, and the people worship the night."

worked pretty good on my dorm mate's younger sister freshman year . . . :o

[wnoodle]

^ That line was said by Ryker to Guinan, when he was teaching Wesley how to be smoove!

"Beware you don't put me on a pedestal so high you cannot reach"
"Then I shall grow wings and fly!"

^nerd! 8)

['Sokay, I had a final ep party complete with Computer Chips & Data Dips, Orange Crusher, Bridge Mix, and the Captain's Pecan Log]

/thread jacking

[kamenriderv3]

great horses of rohan! your beautious visage makes my loins quiver with much joy! i must away lest my self control faileth me.

[tonybricker]

you could definitely hook up with Samwise Gamgee if you used that line

[ninjaKid]

Originally posted by CoupDeFeu
^nerd! 8)

['Sokay, I had a final ep party complete with Computer Chips & Data Dips, Orange Crusher, Bridge Mix, and the Captain's Pecan Log]

/thread jacking

OH MY GOD

first laugh of the day, at 1:06 AM. thank you CDF!

[meia lua]

"Are your parents retarded? Cause you're one special girl"


ok, its not that good. but i laughed when i heard it.

[Sukebe]

Originally posted by meia lua
"Are your parents retarded? Cause you're one special girl"


ok, its not that good. but i laughed when i heard it.

Beat me to it!

[lakebottom]

(with great enthusiasm)

When's the last time you fucked?! 'Cause by the time we're done fucking the last time you fucked will have become much more recent, if you know what I mean.

[Jack]

I shot a man in Texas, just to watch him die.

[Sukebe]

Originally posted by Jack
I shot a man in Texas, just to watch him die.

You must pick up a lot of women at ICP concerts.

[Sid]

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

[Iago]

I think she wants it over easy.

[shawgirl74]

I'm going to use this one sometime, maybe tonight if I run into my hot dude:

"Get my number before you leave tonight."

Hopefully he comes back and actually asks me for it.

[Denstradamus]

Originally posted by Jack
I shot a man in Texas, just to watch him die.

Don't you mean Reno.

[sumtinsumtin]

Originally posted by shawgirl74
I'm going to use this one sometime, maybe tonight if I run into my hot dude:

"Get my number before you leave tonight."

Hopefully he comes back and actually asks me for it.


that rules!
good luck :D

[tigger]

"me love you long time"

[lakeside resort]

I've been looking for someone with a rock hard ass. Looks like I've found that someone. Give me your number.

[wnoodle]

^ that one is pretty direct and to the point

[Shaftoe]

You must be a sheep because I really want to fuck you.

[ocd]

Dwarf, to drunk chick at bar: So have you ever had a dwarf go up on you?

--Manistee, Michigan

Overheard by: Gabby

From overheardatthebeach.com

[Iago]

Originally posted by Shaftoe
You must be a sheep because I really want to fuck you.

Who was it that told me how you're really supposed to fuck sheep... maybe it wasn't someone here.

Anyway, you're supposed to wear oversized rubber boots, take the sheep's hind hooves and stick them into your boots, and while standing near a cliff, slowly push the sheep towards the cliff as you're penetrating. The animal will be a little startled and back track... just don't choose a suicidal sheep.

[nagasawa]

Oversized rubber boots - check

Sheep - check

Cliff - ...

:(

[tigger]

Originally posted by Iago


Who was it that told me how you're really supposed to fuck sheep... maybe it wasn't someone here.


It was probably a Kiwi.

[xsk8teboyx]

Pedro: "Build her a cake or something."

[Batsu]

"Hi" is usually good. After that it's more about how you say it than what you say.

If in doubt offer her/him some Pez. Who could resist?

[tardo]

"Wait a minuet! are you flirting with me?

[Shaftoe]

Originally posted by Iago


Who was it that told me how you're really supposed to fuck sheep... maybe it wasn't someone here.

Anyway, you're supposed to wear oversized rubber boots, take the sheep's hind hooves and stick them into your boots, and while standing near a cliff, slowly push the sheep towards the cliff as you're penetrating. The animal will be a little startled and back track... just don't choose a suicidal sheep.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?


'Cause sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Har.

[hippyjonny]

hey girl do you know what a ray charlestonchew is?

its when i put my balls over your eyes and shit in your mouth.

[YelloKitty]

oh abe lincoln!

[Dr Jesus]

Apparently the pro's use:

You have pretty eyes. Can i touch them?

& If i wasn't gay you'd totally be mine.

[randall fairbrook]

hi, i'm randall fairbrook

[650lex]

is this seat taken?

[SDP]

Originally posted by hippyjonny
hey girl do you know what a ray charlestonchew is?

its when i put my balls over your eyes and shit in your mouth.

Did that work?

[Shaftoe]

Can I get you a drink? Pee in your mouth OK?

[Shaftoe]

Your name must be Viagra, baby, because... ummm... you're blue.

do you have any papers?

[premium]

my name's not fred flintstone,

but i'll make your bed rock.

['jim]

Know what I like? Sex with creepy strangers.

['jim]

"Have we...had sex before?"

[TheirOldStuff]

"Hey, you, girl... my friend wants to know if you think I'm cute."

Always make sure your pickup lines start with, "hey, you, ____(gender)..."

[utinni2]

I like your belt

[650lex]

that's not a belt...

[utinni2]

nonsense, it's rainbow colored!....


oh wait

['jim]

"I like your belt....

















...and also, I'd like to have sex with you."


That one's mostly delivery.

[650lex]

or you can say what Michael Douglas said to Catherine Zeta-Jones:
"i'd like to father your babies"

guess that one really works!

['jim]

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/9219/795600849d340f705foi4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[beanie]

hey nice shoes!

wanna fuck?

['jim]

http://lonelycabbagehead.ytmnd.com/

[slackerbot]

awesome. pick-up lines for christians..

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/2694175/Christians-learn-the-art-of-dating.html

'Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives. He never met you.'

'Is this pew taken?'

'I just don't feel called to celibacy.'

'You float my ark.'

'I didn't believe in predestination until tonight.'

'My parents are home, wanna come over?'

'Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV travel bible in your pocket?'

'Let me sell you an indulgence - it's a sin to look as good as you.'

'How many times do I have to walk around you before you fall for me?"

'I like to arrange the substantial Christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. Coffee?"

'The name is Will. God's Will.'

[atomicscissors]

You must be a speeding ticket, cuz you've got FINE written all over you.

[slaprabbjt]

Thats funny.

I usually just go up to a girl and say "whats your name, my names... usually that starts a conversation but never leads anywhere.

[utinni2]

are you a bot?

[wnoodle]

"What say you and I get a pizza and fuck?"

(await some form of disgusted response)

"What? You don't like pizza?"

[Lain]

"What's the difference between sin and shame?"

"It's a sin to put it in, but it'd be a shame to pull it out"

[SDP]

"Hey Baby...I'm Dave Layden."

[randall fairbrook]

david

[SDP]

Originally posted by randall fairbrook
david

If I'd meant David, I'd have said David....Sheesh, That David Layton is a freak!

[randall fairbrook]

if i meet that frat boy dave i will win him in a speling contest!

[kamenriderv3]

i can haz you phone numberz?

prease???

ahh come onnnnnn.....

[wnoodle]

"Would you like to go out sometime? Now don't say 'no', say 'yes'! Everyone else says 'no', be different!"

[atomicscissors]

I found this pen on the floor. Here, write your number on my arm.

[key_loser]

bump

[esswhykay]

I'm the fucking man, don't ever forget it.

[atomicscissors]

Hey, bitch. You wanna make some muthafuckin' money?

[kamenriderv3]

i has rots of moneys!

[randall fairbrook]

hey fine ladies..i have a few bottles of seagrams in my trunk alongside some mcdonald's fries and a 1997 copy of shaved asians...

[GONG_LORD]

True story...

The wife and I were skiing at Big Bear two months ago and we stopped in their cafeteria for lunch. As we sat there, we observed two guys (couldn't be older than 19) walk up to a table of two girls (also 19ish) and say "we just wanted to let you know that you were hot...and umm", to which one of the girls at the table replied, "do you guys want to hang out".

My wife and I slowly turned our heads facing each other in slow motion, mouths agape with synchronized "whaaaaaaaaaa" sighs of surprise.

Those guys had game!

[kamenriderv3]

i knew it. "umm" drives the girlies wild.

[35ft6]

Gong Lord left out how good looking the guys were. And the girls, too. Important details.

[esswhykay]

So they say, "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks". Which one are you?

[premium]

step up to get fucked up

[Telephone]

Hi, I'm a blogger/photographer/stylist/tastemaker.

[35ft6]

Lets learn from the chimps.The tool for sex, he explained, is a leaf. Ideally a dead leaf, because that makes the most noise when the chimp clips it with his hand or his mouth.

“Males basically have to attract and maintain the attention of females,” Dr. McGrew said. “One way to do this is leaf clipping. It makes a rasping sound. Imagine tearing a piece of paper that’s brittle or dry. The sound is nothing spectacular, but it’s distinctive.”

O.K., a distinctive sound. Where does the sex come in?

“The male will pluck a leaf, or a set of leaves, and sit so the female can see him. He spreads his legs so the female sees the erection, and he tears the leaf bit by bit down the midvein of the leaf, dropping the pieces as he detaches them. Sometimes he’ll do half a dozen leaves until she notices.”

And then?

“Presumably she sees the erection and puts two and two together, and if she’s interested, she’ll typically approach and present her back side, and then they’ll mate.”Full article (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/04/science/04tier.html).