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View Full Version : ghost movies are teh suck


l-train8
01-06-2005, 01:20 PM
You know, the idea of a haunted house is scary because we've all been in a creepy old house at one time or another. But what is up with dumb-ass horror movies about haunted websites and haunted video tapes and haunted space ships. I can maybe buy a haunted book. Like some ancient tome from a satanic cult is infused with a powerful evil. But video tapes have only been around since the 80's. There is no ancient evil from the 80's, except maybe leg warmers or Olivia Newton John or something, and that kind of evil can't really infuse a video tape.

I caught the ending of Event Horizon on the Sci-Fi channel last night. It had some really cool sets and special effects, and I just thought 'why are they wasting it on such a mediocre plot?' The same can be said about hundreds of movies, but horror movies have been bothering me lately. (Well, ghost movies. Zombie movies still rock.)

It's like, the ghosts have enough power to do creepy things for a while, but not to actually hurt anyone, at least until the story progresses more. Why can ghosts make a chair slide across the floor or a pencil roll under a bed, but they can't just strangle someone. It would seem to me that being non-corporeal and yet being able to manipulate physical objects would make it easy to kill someone. You could get inside someone's body and monkey with their organs pretty easily. But no, a movie ghost has to pester the heroes with creepy little parlor tricks for an hour before they really start getting down to business. And then, when it comes time to actually kill someone, the ghosts are pretty ineffective. I would think that not having a body would make it easy to catch someone, but heroes in ghost movies run through the haunted house or spaceship or whatever while being chased by a ghost that can never quite catch them in time. Even when the people trip. Can't a ghost just materialize wherever it wants? Apparently only when it's convenient for an action sequence.

I saw this movie where the ghost makes the elevator go into freefall with its victim inside, but then stops the elevator before it crashes to the ground. Then, just when the victim thinks he's safe, the ghost causes the evelvator cable to break and crash through the roof, cutting the victim in half. Why did the ghost screw around so much? Why not just have the elevator keep falling to the ground? Or why make the elevator fall at all, why not just start off with the cable trick? I guess cause so the movie director can get all the logic-deficient people in the audience to be scared twice.

That's why ghost movies are teh suck.

fmstlr
01-06-2005, 01:28 PM
http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/new_line_cinema/austin_powers__the_spy_who_shagged_me/mike_myers/evil.jpg

FDM
01-06-2005, 01:48 PM
Originally posted by l-train8

I saw this movie where the ghost makes the elevator go into freefall with its victim inside, but then stops the elevator before it crashes to the ground. Then, just when the victim thinks he's safe, the ghost causes the evelvator cable to break and crash through the roof, cutting the victim in half. Why did the ghost screw around so much? Why not just have the elevator keep falling to the ground? Or why make the elevator fall at all, why not just start off with the cable trick? I guess cause so the movie director can get all the logic-deficient people in the audience to be scared twice.


ghosts are usually the manifestation of an unfinished matter of business the spirit had when it was still alive. most times it's revenge.

maybe this ghost was a tuff motherfucker and decided to toy with it's captive before killing him.

slackerbot
01-06-2005, 02:01 PM
Amityville (sp?) is probably one of the better ones. a house that bleeds! how scary is that? :p

Grey|Death
01-06-2005, 02:11 PM
Originally posted by slackerbot
Amityville (sp?) is probably one of the better ones. a house that bleeds! how scary is that? :p

"based on true story" movies are the illest. Amityville mentally scarred me for life when i was little. Groups of flies near windows freak me out now!

kamenriderv3
01-06-2005, 02:19 PM
amityville 5000 was not so scary. the house was painted red before it started to bleed. the blood only made it look like a fresh coat of paint.

the amityville 5000 ghost ended up going crazy and unfulfilled because no one was scared of him. so it turned out to be a spooky story.....for ghosts.

slackerbot
01-06-2005, 02:21 PM
the new movie "White Noise" is supposed to be based on a true story. i have doubts about its scary factor. i'm going to guess it's a 2 hour product placement spot for various electronic goods. :p

lakeside resort
01-06-2005, 02:30 PM
http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/owlive/img/feb04/ghost_021204_big.jpg

yeah, this movie is pretty much teh suck.

slackerbot
01-06-2005, 03:12 PM
Ghost had the worst special effects ever!

Grey|Death
01-06-2005, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by kamenriderv3
amityville 5000 was not so scary. the house was painted red before it started to bleed. the blood only made it look like a fresh coat of paint.

the amityville 5000 ghost ended up going crazy and unfulfilled because no one was scared of him. so it turned out to be a spooky story.....for ghosts.


amityville 5000 is this the 80's version one or a new one? I dont remember it being called amityville 5000... :confused:

l-train8
01-06-2005, 05:24 PM
Originally posted by slackerbot
the new movie "White Noise" is supposed to be based on a true story. i have doubts about its scary factor. i'm going to guess it's a 2 hour product placement spot for various electronic goods. :p

Yeah, a scary CD burner. Oooh, I'm terrified! Oh no, a haunted MP3! That'll teach you to pirate music!

I think Sony is the scariest brand.

kamenriderv3
01-06-2005, 05:31 PM
Originally posted by Grey|Death


amityville 5000 is this the 80's version one or a new one? I dont remember it being called amityville 5000... :confused:

um...

i made it up.

SweetArse
01-06-2005, 05:43 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by l-train8
I caught the ending of Event Horizon on the Sci-Fi channel last night. It had some really cool sets and special effects, and I just thought 'why are they wasting it on such a mediocre plot?'

Well, I just take Event Horizon for a sci-fi movie. I thought it was a pretty good concept. Spaceship that goes to hell! Ooooh.

It's like, the ghosts have enough power to do creepy things for a while, but not to actually hurt anyone, at least until the story progresses more. Why can ghosts make a chair slide across the floor or a pencil roll under a bed, but they can't just strangle someone.

The Entity (1981) based on a "true story" is about a women who gets assaulted and molested by a ghost. The only thing I remember, of course, is the part where invisible hands are groping the main character's bresseses. Hollow Man's got some good ghost killing action too- even though he's not a ghost.

I saw this movie where the ghost makes the elevator go into freefall with its victim inside, but then stops the elevator before it crashes to the ground. Then, just when the victim thinks he's safe, the ghost causes the evelvator cable to break and crash through the roof, cutting the victim in half.

Bup bup bup! This was from Omen 2. It was Damien's supernatural devil powers, and thus, not a ghost.

I think the trailer for White Noise is excellent, but the more I see of the movie itself on previews and specials, the less scary it looks. Maybe Hollywood ghost movies just don't hit that same nerve that most of us have from hearing [Asian] ghost stories in our youth.

hippyjonny
01-06-2005, 05:44 PM
this is a funny thread

wildseven
01-06-2005, 06:22 PM
I liked that old movie Ghost Story from '81 or something with all those codgers who did something really bad and the ghost manifests their evil and guilt and drives then to ruin and stuff, or at least that's what I remember. The Peter Straub novel was classically principled. the movie's kickass score by french composer Philippe Sarde was all about what the rest of the movie couldn't live up to.

slackerbot
01-06-2005, 06:30 PM
i don't know.. i never got scared from Christine. a haunted car? c'mon!

l-train8
01-07-2005, 08:22 AM
The worst thing about ghost movies is that they are so inconsistent. Vampires, werewolves and zombies all have conventions that are generally followed. Ghost movies are too wide open. In one scene, a ghost will be practically omnipotent, in the next, he won't have any powers over physical things. It usually depends on what the lazy director needs for his action setpiece or his creative killing.

My favortie ghost movie is The Shining. In that movie, the ghosts never had any effect on anything physical. They only drove Jack Nicholson insane, and he did all the killing and terrorizing. In Event Horizon, which is the movie that set me off on this rant, the ghost, or demon or whatever, shoots this big fireball at Lawrence Fishburne, who jumps through a closing door to escape it. A second later the ghost materializes right next to Fishburne. He could move through walls but his fireball couldn't. It is just so arbitrary.

FDM
01-07-2005, 09:19 AM
Originally posted by l-train8


My favortie ghost movie is The Shining. In that movie, the ghosts never had any effect on anything physical. They only drove Jack Nicholson insane, and he did all the killing and terrorizing.

that's why the shining was such a great film. the very idea of ghosts is rooted an intangible emotional, spiritual, or mental "thing" that simply gnaws at your mind and creates a serious uneasiness. ghosts don't have to physically manipulate things to be scary.

the hallucinations/ghosts in the shining were much scarier and much more real than a ghost hadoukening morpheus when he could just teleport to wherever.

kamenriderv3
01-07-2005, 11:20 AM
http://www.emerchandise.com/images/p/CPR/pdMTCPR0001.jpg

scariest ghost movie!