Long Distance Relationships

[5.92]

I am the king of LDR's (I've been in too many). Its all about phone sex. I am versed in talking very dirty.
See you in gastronomics.

[yangnome]

phone sex is good

[shampoo]

sexing the phone is fun.
do you do scenarios or just use a lot of obscene language?

[5.92]

Originally posted by shampoo
sexing the phone is fun.
do you do scenarios or just use a lot of obscene language?
Both but less obscene. I'm very dirty but equally romantic. Its like tossing salads over the phone.....lol...

[falcor]

i've had my share of LDR's. last one ended with my bf following me here after a semester of phone tag and fighting on instant messenger.
never did the phone sex thing though, i just can't.

[frogbelly]

Originally posted by falcor
i've had my share of LDR's. last one ended with my bf following me here after a semester of phone tag and fighting on instant messenger.
never did the phone sex thing though, i just can't.
I had phone sex once:
Voice on phone: Press # now
frogbelly: oh, that feels good
Voice on phone: Enter the first 3 digits of the name of the film you wish to see.
frogbelly: oh yeah baby I'll push your buttons

[akuma]

LDR's don't work.
you can think they do, but thats usually the same moment when your partner is fucking around behind your back.
out of sight - out of mind.

and with phone sex... i dunno that shit dont get me heated- im all about feeling it than hearing it.

[falcor]

it depends on the person. also, i had spies.

[amboy]

how far is long distance? i would never do cross country, or international. one to two hours away is not so bad tho. depends tho. id never have an ldr with someone who lived in nyc.

[falcor]

for me LDR was philippines/london. then new jersey/philippines. the phil./london one did not work out. that's the ex who inspired all that anger in the other thread...

[m1]

ldr's are wick-wick-whack.


m1

[YelloKitty]

ugh. i was in a long distance relationship back in tha back in tha day. phone sex? yes. homeboy's phone bill was like over $1000.

[vegAsian]

Word, I was in one with a girl I was with for about 3 years,
and about half of it was LD. It sucked ass... all the stories
about guys hittin on her and what-not... LD suck dang-a-lang.
But all the good ones are either taken or far away =(
Why the fuck is this in Ghetto Blaster?

[ladybug]

Originally posted by YelloKitty
ugh. i was in a long distance relationship back in tha back in tha day. phone sex? yes. homeboy's phone bill was like over $1000.

hot damn. how much you be chargin a minute?!? : P

LDR. did that once. crashed and burned. one loverly thing about it was, the letters and later the e-mails. although, double edge sword now that i think about it. who doesn't like to get mail? especially of the romantical kind but later they just become thorny souvenirs but i guess that's true of any relationship. local or not.

LDR's gave me blue balls on many levels. you'd have a terrific conversation but then wouldn't be able to kick it in real time or outdoors. you could have *hot talk* but not be able to cuddle and shit afterward. for me there were just too many conversations of wishing [u were here] and hoping [we can be together again]. c'est la vie. if it were meant to be it'd be. nawmean.

i'm going on vacation for 2 wks, amelia earheart style,flying solo...no coach @ my side. every call to my man is going to start off with...so whatcha wearing?

[thenumber3killer]

i've been in a couple LDR's, one lasting almost 3 years(california/vancouver) flew up there a couple times, she came down once. things were going pretty groovy until out of nowhere she wanted to seperate for a little while. to sum it up "a little while" turned into about a year in a half and then "yes i still love you" to "i love you but..i dunno" soo yeah.

my second and pretty recent didn't really get off the ground but had lots of potential. about four days before we were gonna spend a few weeks together she gives me the "i don't know if i can handle a LDR" and basically breaks it off with me on the spot. now while understandable in some aspects, the thing that pissed me off was that not only was i hopping on a plane in 4 days, but i asked her many times in the early stages if she was sure she wanted to do this since i knew how hard a LDR can be (i asked myself this question a lot also) but each time she assured me it was plus she would ask of me to promise to love her, never leave her, etc. almost daily..so yeah *bang bang* cancelled trip, non refundable plane tickets, and the way she acted was almost dead on identical to how my ex before broke it off. was i an asshole or anything? not at all. if i was i'd definitely accept it was my fault and that i deserved to lose them both.

phone sex? was lovely but the real sex was of course effintastic. i don't think that a LDR is impossible, if you want it to last (like any meaningful relationship) you gotta have trust and communication..but of course the lack of actual physical interaction will definitely be hard. all i can say is..do whatever you can to spend time together and cherish thoses days like they were your last.
in the end...
i learned my lesson..peace out ginger snaps.

[CaptainPajamaShark]

Originally posted by akuma
LDR's don't work.
you can think they do, but thats usually the same moment when your partner is fucking around behind your back.
out of sight - out of mind.

Amen. I was in a LDR for almost 2 years and it fucking sucked (I was in the US and she wasin Japan). Not only did it not work but I eventually lost interest in her. It got to the point where I didn't even want to sleep with her..ick. Towards the end I was convinced that she was stabbing me in the back and perhaps seeing another guy. Oh well right? Wrong. She also had the nerve to ask me to bring half her shit back with me to the US like books, clothing, a futon, etc. Her mistake. I'm throwing most of the shit out and keeping the futon which was quite expensive.

LDR's NEVER work.

[rock 'n' bossa]

yeah, I gotta add to Shaw and m1's thought: FUCK LDR's... I was in one for 2 years (total 3yrs but first year was together). how did it end up? well, Akuma summed that one up
Originally posted by akuma
LDR's don't work.
you can think they do, but thats usually the same moment when your partner is fucking around behind your back.

[akuma]

sorry to hear that man....

being cheated on is one of the worst feelings.

[5.92]

This was part of my lap and this thread blew UP!! Holy shit...I always tell myself, "NO LDR's" but shit always happens and the next thing I know I'm talking on the phone constantly.

Out of sight out of mind??? EXACTLY. The relationship has to be open like that which for some people sucks. It got so bad that I would be talking to LDR while someone was in bed with me. Thats actually not cool but it has happened.

[dorsal one]

Oakland to Iceland. One day we just stopped talking, strange how things can end that way.

[amboy]

god these are all awful stories.

[rock 'n' bossa]

Originally posted by amboy
god these are all awful stories.
O wait! I can make mine worse! she was messin around with three other guys, for three straight months, and one of them was a third-party friend, and another was a real close, "you mah boy" sort of friend.

I drove down from berkeley one weekend, picked her up from the friend's house could tell somethng was up so I started askin her questions about it, she fessed up and said "I've been going out with 3 guys for three months, I'm not sure if I love you anymore, and I think we need to take a break" and this was after being together for 3 years....*sigh* ah well.. no hard feelings for her or anything, guess we just wanted different things, but on the good side I get to tell the story and feel like some sort of tragic hero because of it

[Margin Walker]

Originally posted by akuma
LDR's don't work.

No doubt. "How do you say 'I miss you'/to an answering machine?" Every so often they do work out. My sister was separated w/ her loverman for over a year. Now they're married and have a kid that's turning 2 this weekend. But they're def. the exception to the rule. For starters, they love each other that it's almost naseous to be around them cuddlebuggin' out.

In short: "Long Distance Relationships: You won't get laid, but you'll get fucked one way or the other." Yeah, I'm a bitter fucker, but that doesn't make the last sentence any less true.

[amboy]

Originally posted by Margin Walker
.

In short: "Long Distance Relationships: You won't get laid, but you'll get fucked one way or the other." Yeah, I'm a bitter fucker, but that doesn't make the last sentence any less true.

heh heh. thats awesome.

[shampoo]

yeah ldrs suck and usually dont work out.
i used to be idealistic about it but the truth is, if the relationship isnt already rock solid committed then being far apart can only hurt things.
i was with this guy, lets call him #1, summer after senior year and hell we got together ONE WEEK before i left for berkeley. we were crazy even thinking it could work. and of course i met a bunch of ppl and had to break it off with #1 to date #2, which really hurt #1 emotionally and physically, i think he punched a hole in a wall and had to get stitches, but get this, after #2 decides to get back with his gf in taiwan (!!!) and im all sad and whatever #3 kisses me but then i get back with #1. but then #4 comes along and i have to break up with #1 AGAIN and i piss off #2 and #3 in the process. yeah so that wasnt cool.
so what happened to all these guys? well fortunately i dont think i did lasting damage to #1 cuz he ended up dating this other really cute girl and theyve been together for 4 or 5 years now and seem really happy. #2 disappeared after joining some aZn frat. #3 joined a diff aZn frat but dropped out due to an overfondness for the herb, i think he was dealin too. and #4 went on to become my torturer for the next 2 years and has probably scarred me emotionally for many years to come tho the physical scars have long healed. i think i stayed with him for so long because i felt that i deserved the punishment. very typical victim behavior. hopefully ive ended that cycle.

um so yeah, ldr = bad

[5.92]

Originally posted by shampoo
yeah ldrs suck and usually dont work out.
i used to be idealistic about it but the truth is, if the relationship isnt already rock solid committed then being far apart can only hurt things.
i was with this guy, lets call him #1, summer after senior year and hell we got together ONE WEEK before i left for berkeley. we were crazy even thinking it could work. and of course i met a bunch of ppl and had to break it off with #1 to date #2, which really hurt #1 emotionally and physically, i think he punched a hole in a wall and had to get stitches, but get this, after #2 decides to get back with his gf in taiwan (!!!) and im all sad and whatever #3 kisses me but then i get back with #1. but then #4 comes along and i have to break up with #1 AGAIN and i piss off #2 and #3 in the process. yeah so that wasnt cool.
so what happened to all these guys? well fortunately i dont think i did lasting damage to #1 cuz he ended up dating this other really cute girl and theyve been together for 4 or 5 years now and seem really happy. #2 disappeared after joining some aZn frat. #3 joined a diff aZn frat but dropped out due to an overfondness for the herb, i think he was dealin too. and #4 went on to become my torturer for the next 2 years and has probably scarred me emotionally for many years to come tho the physical scars have long healed. i think i stayed with him for so long because i felt that i deserved the punishment. very typical victim behavior. hopefully ive ended that cycle.

um so yeah, ldr = bad
I'm coming down this weekend still. Hit me back with your # so we can go to that Money Mark show...No physical scars and no LDR's...Just hanging out....

[angoraphobia]

um...i ended up moving in with my ldr

[5.92]

Originally posted by angoraphobia
um...i ended up moving in with my ldr
Right on. I love it when LDR's work out. I'm envious...j/k

[vegAsian]

OK, I was in this LDR, and after a year we started gettin
into "no-real-reason" fights on the phone. And she bugged the
fuck outta me, and I her. So we were on a "break." We were
not supposed to talk, call, email, etc... And then I was
thinkin it was through for the most part. I started talkin to
someone new, and shit was workin out smoother than, well let's
just say everything was all to the good. Then my gf calls me
to break the silence and says "Hey, I'm gonna move back there!"
And I'm like, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
I was shocked and devestated all at the same time. Needless
to say, she moved back here, and in time I got busted...
I got a broken heart, the new girl got a broken heart, and
my gf got a broken heart. Its such a small world, everything
catches up sooner or later. Long story short, like everyone
else has been sayin "Just say NO to LDRs!!!"

[captain beeheart]

Originally posted by randall fairbrook
what is the worse thing that can happen? i could meet her several times and fall deeply in love...we can make plans and then the plans can fall apart for any number of reeasons....and then..well..then you start over...life is trying and trying until you succeed right? life is not hiding because you are afraid of trying?

what is the best thing that can happen?..well.....that is what we are all looking for right..the right one..the one that "gets" you....and if i have to go for a few years of saving up money and not having frequent physical contact then so be it.......

what are your opinions?



What a fantastic attitude, Randall. It matches with something my friend Phat said this morning - one of our friends was wondering whether she should chase this guy, and he said "the worst that can happen is that you can die. Apart from that anything else pales into insignificance. Go for it." Human relationships are a difficult and messy field, and there's no reason why a long-distance one should be more or less difficult and messy. I met my new wife on the internet and our relationship was almost entirely textual for the first few months - sometimes having that distance allows you to open up, and really expand on your feelings and attitudes and rationales of life - like you say, share information.

[burgatron]

Im in one now. I met her when she was on holidays up here, and then i went and visited her and....
It's dam hard. I love her and we do the phone/net thing daily, i fly down about once every 4/5 weeks. But still its testing. I'm a paranoid guy, so her getting new 'close' guy friends makes me worried. She plans to come stay with me for a few months at the end of the year, but she doesnt really want to move here, but you never know.
I feel bad myself, cause I want to move down to her state, but giving up a good secure $$ job is hard. I feel like im not being true to myself.

[akuma]

Originally posted by burgatron
I feel like im not being true to myself.


i think you gotta sort that out.
you dont wanna be in any relationship (ldr or not) where you're not being true to yourself. there's nothing worse than having regrets about yourself and your actions.


good luck.

[Ni dew]

ive experienced LDR twice - with the same girl.

it works ok. cuts out so much aggro and you appreciate each other more when you see each other again.

;)

[Ni dew]

i think LDRs expose how much you + your partner deal with being actually independent?

the clingy couples cheat more when seperated i reckon.

[-minus_one]

i have been told that i have a sexy voice over the line. i used to do alot of chatting on phone lines and it's amazing how many women there were who were into it. personally, i found it kind of boring, i always played along of course, although if i had taped some of my conversations (or if a neighbor had overheard) i'm sure i would have killed myself laughing from some of the lines i pulled. faking orgasms (i had a few real ones too ) was a tricky thing to pull off though without cracking up. hey i know what you mean about long distance relationships though. i phoned my girl in japan this morning (she went back in may) and it made me sad. hearing her voice but knowing thats as close as i'll probably ever get to her again is maddening. i sense that i'm holding on to nothing more than a memory now. when she left i told her i would wait a year for her in case she decided to come back, she agreed at the time to think about it and i kept on dreaming. the thing is, i could wait for her no problem (i would even drop everything and move to japan without a thought if that is what she so wished), it's the uncertainty of it all that drives me crazy. i went to work after talking to her and after a while i came to accept my lot in life, she is there, i'm here, i can't keep thinking of her every damn minute of my life, i've gotta let go a bit, i'll never forget her but f5rom now on, i'll think of her less.

[jsoy]

"Long love distance love affair....whoah!! I can't find you anywhere....I call you on the telephone...but you're never home..."

[lolitacomplex]

im in one...in a way....its very...strange.

i met this guy at the begining of the summer, and we were both achin for some action, but no strings attached...so we'd just hang out and be the typical "friends with benefits"
it was awesome! he was a great guy, and we got along great.

so after a few months, his financial situation gets kinda bad..and he has to move, across the country...suuuuuuuckcore..

this was just a few weeks ago, and were now kinda digging eachother on THAT kind of level. its nice. but right now, having a full time significant other wouldnt really be good for either of us..he'll be visiting soon, so it all works out....

im just keeping in mind, that everything happens for a reason. if it doesnt work out, at least i learned something from it, eh?

[akuma]

Originally posted by -minus_one
hey i know what you mean about long distance relationships though. i phoned my girl in japan this morning (she went back in may) and it made me sad. hearing her voice but knowing thats as close as i'll probably ever get to her again is maddening. i sense that i'm holding on to nothing more than a memory now. when she left i told her i would wait a year for her in case she decided to come back, she agreed at the time to think about it and i kept on dreaming. the thing is, i could wait for her no problem (i would even drop everything and move to japan without a thought if that is what she so wished), it's the uncertainty of it all that drives me crazy. i went to work after talking to her and after a while i came to accept my lot in life, she is there, i'm here, i can't keep thinking of her every damn minute of my life, i've gotta let go a bit, i'll never forget her but f5rom now on, i'll think of her less.


i feel every word you wrote.

just do your thing and know all things happen for a reason.
whatever... im drunk & love sucks.
fuggit.

[akuma]

past-blast, wow.



why is it in ghetto blaster tho?

[Killjoy]

for some reason i like it in ghetto blaster........good luck to your cuz cecil.

[650lex]

ldr's suck - they do not work
they work the first two months
and then you are working in a training room with a bunch of
fine ass injured athletes - sorry i got personal there.....

[Killjoy]

Originally posted by akuma
past-blast, wow.



why is it in ghetto blaster tho?

Originally posted by 5.92
I am the king of LDR's (I've been in too many). Its all about phone sex. I am versed in talking very dirty.
See you in gastronomics.

LAP!

[5.92]

^Thanks bruh....

Now...if you can follow the lap seeing that its 2 years old....now that would be remarkable!

[wnoodle]

Originally posted by herrokitty
shooting at the walls of heartache., bang bang bang.
There are only two "bang" words in the song. The lyric goes:

"Shooting at the walls of heartache,
Bang bang!

I am the warrior!"

[fightgenie]

fuck long distance relationships
they hurt
a lot.

[fightgenie]

phone sex I haven't done that for many a year. used to be fun.

[lakeside resort]

bump

[falcor]

haha, i love when old lap threads resurface.

no more LDRs for me ever. last guy i was dating, we never even discussed our dating situation - ever - even before i went MIA. in fact, no more relationships period for me. woohoo!

[wuheavy]

Met my wife in an Applebee's in Redding on my way to Portland, OR from Fresno, CA with my parents!! Dated long distance for 6 months, she moved to Fresno, we lived together for five years and got married last May.

[akuma]

Originally posted by falcor
in fact, no more relationships period for me. woohoo!

[akuma]

Originally posted by akuma
LDR's don't work.
you can think they do, but thats usually the same moment when your partner is fucking around behind your back.
out of sight - out of mind.

[RailroadEarth]

I had one for 3 years.
They suck.
Get out as soon as you can.
I think someone mentioned this as well-- I was in love with a memory.


And everytime I hear about someone who is in one.. it makes me cringe.
I'll never do it again.


Especially when its a girl I like...
and her bf lives in another country.
wtf.
It just drives me crazy.




Thinking about all this makes me want a hug.

[5.92]

Originally posted by wuheavy
Met my wife in an Applebee's in Redding on my way to Portland, OR from Fresno, CA with my parents!! Dated long distance for 6 months, she moved to Fresno, we lived together for five years and got married last May.
At a quick glance before I read your post I thought you said you met your wife in Afghanistan:D

Dont blame me. Blame Osama bin fish tacos....

[5.92]

Originally posted by RailroadEarth
I was in love with a memory.

I still have a death grip on this one ldr from 92. I thought I saw her last night at noisepop but I knew that was impossible. It's never really in the front of my mind. When I thought it was her, I almost lost it. She finally saw me looking at her but she didnt get creeped out like any girl would.

Right now I'm happy in my current relationship. It's been almost a year and I havent left yet. Thats pretty good.

[akuma]

Originally posted by fightgenie
fuck long distance relationships
they hurt
a lot.



i dont think it's possible to overemphasize the utter and complete futility of a ldr


been thru a bunch and they all just go stabby at whats left of my heart

[falcor]

You just have to be sure you're doing the right thing.
I mean it's easy to forget - she's just sitting there in that pub with her new friends and her new life and her new hair, and it's been five years but you'd know it just to look at her.

Having said that I wasn't even sure it were her at first, I was ready to walk away, I was on my way to the bog but she caught my eye, smiled, so i went over. But we didn't really have much to say so... So I went back to my table. And I had to ask my friends to stop staring at her. But by the end of the night, the beers kicked in and we bumped into each other at the door. And we ended up going for a walk. And we had a long chat about our new friends and our new homes and our new birds.

See she'd been going out with him now for about two and a half years, but they don't live together so he'd never find out. And you think about when you were wee and you used to chase her about school and the first time you asked her out she said no. But one night you got dressed up and you went to a wedding but it was shit so you just went back to the pub and she saw you and she told you she'd changed her mind. And you went for a walk for a wee while. And you remember how she used to swing her arms when you held hands and you're on your way home and you can't remember how she kissed. But now you've a perfect opportunity to find out and jog your memory but there's this other kiss. And it took months of practice and months of embarrassment but finally you've got this kiss right. And hopefully she's at home and she's wondering where you are and she feels exactly the same way.

You can see her breath in the air between your faces. And she just asks you straight out if you want to come back to her flat and stay with her. And you think about it for a minute but then you make up your mind and you get into separate taxis and you go your opposite way and you lie in bed and you've got a slight regret and you wonder what you've missed. But before you fall asleep you think about the kiss that you worked so hard on. And you know you've done the right thing.

[akuma]

pretty but confoozing

[akuma]

no, pretty & confoozing



thas better

[mwt.]

my wife and i had a long distance relationship for about a year when we first met. i can't believe it lasted just because i hate talking on the phone so much. i guess it helped that we saw each other literally every weekend.

[fad3r]

how do yall deal with the trust factor?

[RailroadEarth]

This girl i like is in a LDR.
I just want to like... pull her aside and tell her straight up... what the fuck.

she says like, he didnt want her hanging out with me, and we didnt even hang out yet. I asked her to a movie, and she said she couldnt...
Because he's "jealous."











Speaking of seeing ex's from past LDRs, I thought I saw mine as well a few weeks ago, and almost lost it...
Hella wierd.

[t3h1337p3nguin]

Over 3 months...
4 hours apart, so not that huge of a deal, but it sucks to not see each other for over a month at a time, often. I hope I get to hang out with her in Knoxville this weekend, but that's looking iffy. =(

[EchoedTears]

o.O Since when is it looking iffy? I am not in the loop.

[mwt.]

Originally posted by fad3r
how do yall deal with the trust factor?

back when i was single, if i didn't trust'em, than i didn't waste my time with'em.

[fad3r]

man, anyone with good positive stories about ldr's?

i think they are possible with the right couple. if one person is a slut/whore bag, then of course it won't work. if one person in the relationship is the insecure jealous type, then it wont work. i think if there is honesty, communication, and trust, then i think an ldr could work. i think if a couple can handle a LDR, then they can handle anything in a relationship. i also think ldr couple should be clear about what to expect in their relationship. i have friends in LDRs where they are ok with seeing other people. Others state its not ok. As long as both parties agree, then i don't see any problems.

[RailroadEarth]

I blame being in a LDR on feeling insecure.
Like... knowing there is always someone to fall back on... when I can go out and do whatever I pretty much want...
but I'm still loved when I get home and call her.

[wuheavy]

Originally posted by fad3r
man, anyone with good positive stories about ldr's?

I posted this a little ways up:

"Met my wife in an Applebee's in Redding on my way to Portland, OR (was with my parents) from Fresno, CA!! Dated long distance for 6 months, then she moved to Fresno, we lived together for five years and got married last May."

[RailroadEarth]

Speaking of LDR's-- you guys ever seen that chinese commercial for the lottery?

Where the couple is in an LDR after they graduate, and like, he misses her, and she's always busy and he's always bothering her while she's working...
and so he buys a lottery ticket and they ride in a hot air ballon over his giant estate and mansion...

[herrokitty]

Originally posted by fad3r
man, anyone with good positive stories about ldr's?

both people die.
or
one person moves closer.

[5.92]

Originally posted by fad3r
man, anyone with good positive stories about ldr's?

i think they are possible with the right couple. if one person is a slut/whore bag, then of course it won't work. if one person in the relationship is the insecure jealous type, then it wont work. i think if there is honesty, communication, and trust, then i think an ldr could work. i think if a couple can handle a LDR, then they can handle anything in a relationship. i also think ldr couple should be clear about what to expect in their relationship. i have friends in LDRs where they are ok with seeing other people. Others state its not ok. As long as both parties agree, then i don't see any problems.
My 2nd ldr lasted almost 4 years.
It was definately a good match but she didnt want to live in California at the time and I wasnt going to freeze my ass off in Detroit (even though my next serious relationship led me to KC which has the same shitty weather as Detroit).
Duhhh....

Hi Hannah!

[5.92]

Originally posted by falcor
You just have to be sure you're doing the right thing.
I mean it's easy to forget - she's just sitting there in that pub with her new friends and her new life and her new hair, and it's been five years but you'd know it just to look at her.

Having said that I wasn't even sure it were her at first, I was ready to walk away, I was on my way to the bog but she caught my eye, smiled, so i went over. But we didn't really have much to say so... So I went back to my table. And I had to ask my friends to stop staring at her. But by the end of the night, the beers kicked in and we bumped into each other at the door. And we ended up going for a walk. And we had a long chat about our new friends and our new homes and our new birds.

See she'd been going out with him now for about two and a half years, but they don't live together so he'd never find out. And you think about when you were wee and you used to chase her about school and the first time you asked her out she said no. But one night you got dressed up and you went to a wedding but it was shit so you just went back to the pub and she saw you and she told you she'd changed her mind. And you went for a walk for a wee while. And you remember how she used to swing her arms when you held hands and you're on your way home and you can't remember how she kissed. But now you've a perfect opportunity to find out and jog your memory but there's this other kiss. And it took months of practice and months of embarrassment but finally you've got this kiss right. And hopefully she's at home and she's wondering where you are and she feels exactly the same way.

You can see her breath in the air between your faces. And she just asks you straight out if you want to come back to her flat and stay with her. And you think about it for a minute but then you make up your mind and you get into separate taxis and you go your opposite way and you lie in bed and you've got a slight regret and you wonder what you've missed. But before you fall asleep you think about the kiss that you worked so hard on. And you know you've done the right thing.
Dude, shut UP!

[5.92]

:D

[EchoedTears]

Originally posted by fad3r
man, anyone with good positive stories about ldr's?



My current LDR is quite on the positive side... for now at least, and it's awesome. But I'm pretty sure that at least some of you saw this coming.

[fad3r]

Aw, great to hear some positive stories. Any advice or tips to making it work for those of us interested in getting involved in an LDR?

[falcor]

RELAX. DON'T DO IT.

[falcor]

Originally posted by 5.92

Dude, shut UP!

nothing like some arab strap when you're alone on the computer late at night :D

[mwt.]

Originally posted by fad3r
man, anyone with good positive stories about ldr's?

i think they are possible with the right couple. if one person is a slut/whore bag, then of course it won't work. if one person in the relationship is the insecure jealous type, then it wont work. i think if there is honesty, communication, and trust, then i think an ldr could work. i think if a couple can handle a LDR, then they can handle anything in a relationship. i also think ldr couple should be clear about what to expect in their relationship. i have friends in LDRs where they are ok with seeing other people. Others state its not ok. As long as both parties agree, then i don't see any problems.

my story isn't negative. we drove back and forth to see each other for a year and half. about 140 miles. not too bad considering what others go through. but it was a special time in our lives. something that was exhausting but well worth it. we're married today so it really paid off. with our work/school situations, it wasn't too inconvenient either.

[invictus]

Long distance relationships can be the ultimate cop-out. It's a way to assure yourself that you aren't really alone, because god forbid that people actually be happy being alone. It can be a symptom of this shallow need we have to be "with" someone, even if they're 300 miles away.

Someone here already said that you're in love with a memory. That can be so true. You get this crush, you let it take hold and then you sit there and eat away at it like a vulture - the person's not there to be a real person (with faults and quirks along with the good), but you pick and suck at every scrap of good because that's all you have. All you see is that person's best side because they can control everything from a distance, and so can you.

[akuma]

yeah, what monkey che said

[5.92]

Nice!

[mwt.]

erik, is that you in your avatar?

[RailroadEarth]

Originally posted by invictus
Long distance relationships can be the ultimate cop-out. It's a way to assure yourself that you aren't really alone, because god forbid that people actually be happy being alone. It can be a symptom of this shallow need we have to be "with" someone, even if they're 300 miles away.

Someone here already said that you're in love with a memory. That can be so true. You get this crush, you let it take hold and then you sit there and eat away at it like a vulture - the person's not there to be a real person (with faults and quirks along with the good), but you pick and suck at every scrap of good because that's all you have. All you see is that person's best side because they can control everything from a distance, and so can you.

i love you...

[lakeside resort]

I think a lot of you have a view of relationships as being very disposable and fleeting. If that's the case, then I can see why you'd think an LDR is not worth it. Neither would it be worthwhile to enter into one if you're just not that sure about either person's feelings in the relationship.

But if you really love someone, and they reciprocate, and matters of circumstance just happen to call for an LDR, is it so preposterous to get involved in one? Or should you just toss that great thing you have out the window because it's so hard and painful? How about looking at things in terms of the long haul, whether it works out or not in the end? I mean, it's not always about being insecure and having to be in a relationship at all times. It could just be that you've found the right person.

I've heard of some that lasted years and years and worked out. But I do agree that a large proportion of them do not work out.

[lakeside resort]

Originally posted by thenumber3killer
i've been in a couple LDR's, one lasting almost 3 years(california/vancouver) flew up there a couple times, she came down once. things were going pretty groovy until out of nowhere she wanted to seperate for a little while. to sum it up "a little while" turned into about a year in a half and then "yes i still love you" to "i love you but..i dunno" soo yeah.

my second and pretty recent didn't really get off the ground but had lots of potential. about four days before we were gonna spend a few weeks together she gives me the "i don't know if i can handle a LDR" and basically breaks it off with me on the spot. now while understandable in some aspects, the thing that pissed me off was that not only was i hopping on a plane in 4 days, but i asked her many times in the early stages if she was sure she wanted to do this since i knew how hard a LDR can be (i asked myself this question a lot also) but each time she assured me it was plus she would ask of me to promise to love her, never leave her, etc. almost daily..so yeah *bang bang* cancelled trip, non refundable plane tickets, and the way she acted was almost dead on identical to how my ex before broke it off. was i an asshole or anything? not at all. if i was i'd definitely accept it was my fault and that i deserved to lose them both.

phone sex? was lovely but the real sex was of course effintastic. i don't think that a LDR is impossible, if you want it to last (like any meaningful relationship) you gotta have trust and communication..but of course the lack of actual physical interaction will definitely be hard. all i can say is..do whatever you can to spend time together and cherish thoses days like they were your last.
in the end...
i learned my lesson..peace out ginger snaps.

I like this guy's attitude. In spite of the fact that he's been in two LDR's that didn't work out, he still holds out the possibility that, in some instances, they can work out.

I think it's rare to enter into a good relationship, much less one which you feel is worth the effort of an LDR.

[wuheavy]

Mine worked.

[invictus]

Originally posted by RailroadEarth


i love you...

Wanna start a long distance relationship?

[5.92]

Originally posted by mwt.
erik, is that you in your avatar?
Yup

If thats YOU in your avatarr, dude....lay off the sauce:D:D

[RailroadEarth]

Originally posted by invictus


Wanna start a long distance relationship?

yesssss.:heart:

[invictus]

Cool, we can talk about how we're really in love and then six months later, when we've only actually been face to face for about 4 hours total, we can tell everyone that our relationship is really great and things are serious and we're TOTALLY committed to each other!!

By the way, I will be fucking boys on the side and not telling you about it. Is that cool?

[RailroadEarth]

yeah. it's cool...

It's happened before,
so I guess it won't be so painful the second time around.





At least... someone loves me.

[lakeside resort]

you're irresponsible, no focus something something frequencies and I rub a dub those hoes you can get the middle what middle? the penis.

[fygar]

I don't mean to revive old ghosts, but I wanted to say that reading everything that all of you have had to say on this subject has been very illuminating.




I'm probably going to go ahead and get into one anyway.




Maybe.




I'm fucked.

[45revs]

i got into an internet long distance relationship thing and look where it got me...married.

[joetron2030]

Originally posted by revs
i got into an internet long distance relationship thing and look where it got me...married.

oh n0es!!!one!1111!

[5.92]

Originally posted by fygar
I don't mean to revive old ghosts, but I wanted to say that reading everything that all of you have had to say on this subject has been very illuminating.




I'm probably going to go ahead and get into one anyway.




Maybe.




I'm fucked.
Never get jealous and make sure the relationship is OPEN.

Damn I should start another lap....

[grandpa_shig]

e,

i believe i forgot to give you a tracklisting? did you get them?

[650lex]

they suck
and DO NOT WORK! trust me!

[fad3r]

I was in a LDR for 6 months before taking the risk of moving to be with her. She wouldn't come to me for career reasons, so I moved up to her. Well, things didn't work out the way we had planned once we started living together. We tried hard to make it work even visiting a relationship counselor. In the end we broke up after a year of living together, and I relocated to New York to mend my broken heart. This happened a few weeks ago, so I'm still tender.

I think with LDRs, you tend to be your best whenever you see each other. The few times you do spend with each other tend to be the best because you want to make what little time you have together worthwhile. I think once I moved in, I started taking the relationship for granted.

Would I do it again? No. Being in the LDR and then moving in with her made me sacrifice too much of myself just to keep the relationship going. I think it would've been better if she were local, and we were friends first. If I knew how we would be together on a regular basis, I would've seen that it wouldn't work. We were great short-term, but unfortunately, not for the long haul.

...I'm starting to tear, so I'll leave it at that. :(

[650lex]

Originally posted by fad3r


...I'm starting to tear, so I'll leave it at that. :(

awe! I feel your pain! I dated my ex for about 10 months...
I agreed to a LDR but after two months into it he started to sour on me but I didn't know it until I went out to visit him and then he broke up w/me on the phone when I got back home!

He was the only guy that I actually considered moving for - i was going to leave a great job, my family and all my friends for him! I look back now and thank him - he did me a favor - it would have been messy had I left. I was devistated at first. I never thought I could trust a man w/my feelings again but I'm relearning.

The thing is I have hope again - if I felt that honest and pure love for someone maybe just maybe it could happen again!

But would I do a LDR again? Probably not but I can't say never!

[fad3r]

Originally posted by 650lex
He was the only guy that I actually considered moving for - i was going to leave a great job, my family and all my friends for him! I look back now and thank him - he did me a favor - it would have been messy had I left. I was devistated at first. I never thought I could trust a man w/my feelings again but I'm relearning.

I unfortunately did this. I left a decent job and everyone I knew in Florida to be with her. When I got up there, I thought we were only going to stay for a few months and then move someplace warmer. Well a few months ended up being a year and a half!

Sometimes I feel like all the time I spent with her were a waste. You live and learn, but always move on. At least I know now what not to do. Hopefully, it will make my next relationship that much more better. :)

[lakeside resort]

My friend once made an analogy. When we are involved in a long distance relationship, the distance separating us acts like the wind, blowing out the small flames and increasing the big flames.

[5.92]

Originally posted by grandpa_shig
e,

i believe i forgot to give you a tracklisting? did you get them?
I didnt...
I feel cheated by the radio stations for not playing these cuts. This stuff reminds me of my stepbrother back inthe day.

[5.92]

Originally posted by fad3r


I unfortunately did this. I left a decent job and everyone I knew in Florida to be with her. When I got up there, I thought we were only going to stay for a few months and then move someplace warmer. Well a few months ended up being a year and a half!

Sometimes I feel like all the time I spent with her were a waste. You live and learn, but always move on. At least I know now what not to do. Hopefully, it will make my next relationship that much more better. :)
God DAMN that is pretty much how it went down with me in Seattle except it was 4 months and it fell apart because I couldnt find decent work. I left everything to basically be homeless. I took a chance and I failed miserably. Cant say I bounced back but I definately made some lemonaids out of aids fo damn sho.
We should start a support group or something:D

[5.92]

Originally posted by fad3r
I think with LDRs, you tend to be your best whenever you see each other. The few times you do spend with each other tend to be the best because you want to make what little time you have together worthwhile.

This is definately true. I've been in a few LDR's and towards the last few visits I would act enthused (obviously) but I would try to normalize the visits which would always end up in some drama.
"You act like you dont care!", "I feel like I'm being taken for granted!" ALWAYS came up with EVERY girl.
Normalization eventually occurs in all relationships. The transition is rougher if it's LD. Learning to confront this issue may help as most communication does but it's an LDR which most times is an idealistic but more importantly an unrealistic relationship. Your heart is there but the logistics are practically impossible. The type of logistics that erode your (and her) well being.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Has anyone wanted out of an LDR? What did you do?

[invictus]

Just sent my LDR off to Portland again. I'm all blue and sad today. Thank god I have work that I love to keep me sane and focused. He has his things too, which is why I think we can enjoy this for a while.

Done the LDRs before though, and I know how not to do them now.

[FDM]

Originally posted by 5.92


"You act like you dont care!", "I feel like I'm being taken for granted!" ALWAYS came up with EVERY girl.
Normalization eventually occurs in all relationships. The transition is rougher if it's LD. Learning to confront this issue may help as most communication does but it's an LDR which most times is an idealistic but more importantly an unrealistic relationship. Your heart is there but the logistics are practically impossible. The type of logistics that erode your (and her) well being.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


truth, mang. truth. the trust has to be there, but again, there's that "out of sight out of mind" mindset attached to that kinda shit. you need to be comfortable enough to deal with the fact that because you're not there and seeing that person every day, that you're gonna drift further and further away from being the first thing on her/his mind.

[fad3r]

Being in a LDR, for me, was kinda nice because you still had your own life within your own world and they had theirs. When you get together with them, its like a holiday. It all changed once we started living together. The first few months were great: sex several times a day, lovey-dovey all over the place, sweet nothings every so often. After like the 6 months, something wasn't there anymore. Sometimes I found myself staying at work just a lil longer so I wouldn't have to come home. Then the arguments started getting outta hand and we'd fight over the stupidest things.

:(

[invictus]

That's ANY relationship after you move in together. Maybe even worse since you're moving in with someone you don't interact with on a more regular basis.

Sometimes it takes 6 months, sometimes it takes 8 years.