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  #1  
Old 12-18-2000, 01:38 PM
mogwai mogwai is offline
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i am an abc. i was born in a mostly white suburb in connecticut. i attended a mostly white ultraconservative boarding school in connecticut. now i go to college in boston, which is much more diverse. i think there's like 20% minority students in our school, 15% of which are asian i think. okay, what i wanted to say is that i never was surrounded by many asian peers. and i realized this when i went to high school and i was one of 3 asian americans in the whole school of 5-600 kids. there were international students there from china, korea, and japan...but i felt excluded from their in-groups because i felt "too american." and i felt alienated from every else because i felt "too chinese." now my mom just moved to monterey park in los angeles and sitting here in monterey park i have become totally self-conscious and insecure about my racial identity. i somehow feel that i am a total outsider when it comes to asian culture, but somehow asian culture and heritage is an intrinsic part of who i am. does anyone have similar stories or experiences? can anyone relate?
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  #2  
Old 12-19-2000, 07:07 AM
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amboy amboy is offline
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yeah, i can relate. in the philippines i felt too american in many ways, though i didnt grow up in total whiteness. my school was like 20% minority and there has always been a lot of asians in seattle. but my college was like 5% minority, with like 50 asians out of 3 thousand. that was a culture shock. enjoy that you can be around lots of people who look like you. and many people have had a similar experience and can relate to you, though part of claiming an asian american identity is rebelling against the 'white' parts of yourself. my gf is writing a paper about memory and loss in asian american literature. having such a split in your life, between white and chinese, is difficult issue to resolve.

also, living on the east coast now, i see how asians are more outsiders here, even in nyc.

amerasian refers more to the abandoned offspring in asia of american g.i.'s and asian women who were granted american citizenship. i think what you refer more to is asian american identity.
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Old 12-19-2000, 10:07 PM
dirtyknees dirtyknees is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by mogwai
i am an abc. i was born in a mostly white suburb in connecticut. i attended a mostly white ultraconservative boarding school in connecticut. now i go to college in boston, which is much more diverse. i think there's like 20% minority students in our school, 15% of which are asian i think. okay, what i wanted to say is that i never was surrounded by many asian peers. and i realized this when i went to high school and i was one of 3 asian americans in the whole school of 5-600 kids. there were international students there from china, korea, and japan...but i felt excluded from their in-groups because i felt "too american." and i felt alienated from every else because i felt "too chinese." now my mom just moved to monterey park in los angeles and sitting here in monterey park i have become totally self-conscious and insecure about my racial identity. i somehow feel that i am a total outsider when it comes to asian culture, but somehow asian culture and heritage is an intrinsic part of who i am. does anyone have similar stories or experiences? can anyone relate?
i totally relate bro. i grew up in the fucking deep south. i went to boarding school in connecticut too where i interacted with other asians for really the first time in my life. but i had a hard time fitting in with them. it wasn't until my senior year of high school that i really even began concstructing my identity as a person of color and as an asian american. college has been a mind blowing experience for me in terms of my identity formation.

which boarding school did you go to? i went to choate.
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  #4  
Old 12-22-2000, 01:21 PM
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different variation

I'm from Hawaii. We got a zillion Asians here and there is a lot of Asian culture mixed in the local customs. Some of us are from the "old country" and some are born in the US.

But I can still feel out of the Asian group or the US group of white folks. Visiting relatives in Asia is good but I just don't fit in there. It doesn't help that I'm not fluent with the language either. The locals there usually think I'm some other type of Asian. Its probably because I don't dress like them or have the same haircut.

Being an Asian American makes it hard to fit in either groups. You're a mix of different cultures so you aren't the same as the typical members of those groups.

But I wouldn't trade being an Asian American for anything else. Its who I am. I would be proud of whatever race I was born of anyway. Gotta love yourself.

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  #5  
Old 12-25-2000, 08:25 PM
Mikio4 Mikio4 is offline
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Well I can kinda sorta relate. I'm mixed and was born in Tokyo and lived there till I was 11. I remember feeling like an outsider often enough both with my white school friends and with my Japanese neighborhood friends, although to be fair I felt my difference most with strangers gaping or making cracks. Moving back to the states obviously didn't help any in the alienation dept as Minneaplois is pretty white. But the fact is I feel like this malleable/unidentifiable racial identity is a good thing. It makes it a lot easier to discount sterotypes and mental profiling that we all do to the "other." I mean it's a lot harder to pigeon hole someone like me who was born in Japan, lived most of my life in the Midwest and looks more hispanic (to the average person) than either white or Japanese. And although identity politics is important to me in many ways, I find it easier to merely identify myself as part of the human race, especially when you have felt like an outsider on both sides of the fence yer straddlin.
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  #6  
Old 12-26-2000, 07:32 AM
SweetArse SweetArse is offline
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I was born in HK, but came to the US when I was 2. Being raised in the states, I sometimes feel like I have a heightened awareness of my surroundings. That is, whenever I've hung out with Asian people my age, they don't talk about anything except consumeristic bullshit like stocks and Banana Republic, Abercrombie and so on. But if I hang out with more Americanized Asians, the discussions are a little deeper and more meaningful. My best friend came here when he was about 10, and we both have come to describe this as "sophisticated Asians." We have been able to look back at our traditional upbringing and fuse it with the American way of life. We try to see through the superficiality of the Chinese way. I regret that I've never been to China, but why is it that even in their Communist state, people are so cutthroat about making money and appearing rich? I have a step family from Shanghai and they are so fake it makes me sick. Everyone must wear this or that, look like this or that, play golf because the rich Americans do it, so on and on ad nauseum. I know I'm generalizing here. Does anyone else see this?
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  #7  
Old 12-27-2000, 05:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by SweetArse
We try to see through the superficiality of the Chinese way. I regret that I've never been to China, but why is it that even in their Communist state, people are so cutthroat about making money and appearing rich? I have a step family from Shanghai and they are so fake it makes me sick. Everyone must wear this or that, look like this or that, play golf because the rich Americans do it, so on and on ad nauseum. I know I'm generalizing here. Does anyone else see this?
Its not just Chinese but I have seen it and heard it. Every country has their wannabes. The funny thing is that some of those wannabes will look down on Asian Americans who grew up with that stuff and speak good English.

One of my Taiwan friends says that he could make some money if he brought back a bunch of name brand jeans. He mentioned something about a big demand for that stuff in his home country.

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  #8  
Old 07-05-2002, 08:29 AM
felix felix is offline
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well said
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  #9  
Old 07-05-2002, 08:36 AM
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amboy amboy is offline
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another thread rises from the depths. not a bad one, even now, questions of identity and one's place in the world still interest me. i would say that after living in new york for two years, i definitely feel more confident and comfortable with myself, being a both insider and outsider, filipino and american, person of color and totally westernized.
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  #10  
Old 07-05-2002, 08:43 AM
nikel nikel is offline
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that's cool, amboy.
growing up, my father would remind us that some things will be assumed just because of our appearance. he would say it matter-of-factly even when we were really young, grade school or so. that perspective was helpful as a kid in a mostly-white suburb.
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  #11  
Old 07-05-2002, 09:01 AM
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I'm Half Chinese, and I was the ONLY Chinese kid in Primary School. In High School, their were about 6 of us in the entire school.

Now that's screwed up :P
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  #12  
Old 07-05-2002, 09:44 AM
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CaptainPajamaShark CaptainPajamaShark is offline
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I think it's safe to say that there are many of us with similar stories of feeling like the 'outsider.' I was born and raised in Japan (until I was 17), moved to Minneapolis and found it very difficult adjusting to life here. Believe it or not, my relatives on my father's side openly referred to my mother and I as 'Japs' which I didn't appreciate. As a result I no longer talk to them or acknowledge them as relatives. In Japan I've encountered similar scrutiny among Japanese kids who thought my brother and I were freaks. However, my family in Japan have always been generous and treat my brother and I like royalty. It's ironic, growing up in Japan I had many problems with kids picking on me, but now that I'm an adult it seems if you're half you're hip.

In any case, I don't think those of us who come from biracial families should have to justify who we are and where we come from. Embrace your ethnicity as I have...you'll be better off.
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Old 07-05-2002, 10:13 AM
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phism phism is offline
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shit i'm hapa haole so i'll claim a piece of all of that
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  #14  
Old 07-05-2002, 10:17 AM
lazerbeenz lazerbeenz is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mech1
I think it's safe to say that there are many of us with similar stories of feeling like the 'outsider.'
i think no matter what the current reason for feeling like an outsider is, everyone feels that way or lives in fear of being ostrasized. this said, i think it's wierd that although we all want to feel connected, we purposely do things to detach others from a community.

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Old 07-05-2002, 10:22 AM
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simila'

Quote:
Originally posted by Mech1
... I had many problems with kids picking on me, but now that I'm an adult it seems if you're half you're hip.

In any case, I don't think those of us who come from biracial families should have to justify who we are and where we come from. Embrace your ethnicity as I have...you'll be better off.
what he said.


m1

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