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 by Martin Wong pic by Zen Sekizawa GET GEEKED! 1. Semi-bowl hairdo. Cut by mom. For better results, cut it yourself, especially the back. 2. Glasses. Black frames for school nerd or wire frames for engineering. 3. Shirt with buttons. For a more casual attire, try prints and a fabric other than polyester, or keep the collar open and tuck it in. 4. Writing utensils. One for every occasion. Break out of the norm and try a Gelly Roll pen. They'll go quite nice with your No. 2 pencil. 5. Cheap-ass belt. From high school, but still fits. 6. Cheap-ass pants. Snug in the privates. |
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When I first met my cousin Robert, he was only 4 or 5. Immediately
the boy began testing my knowledge of The Guinness Book of World
Records, peppering me with questions like, "How heavy is the fattest
man?" and "Who has the longest fingernails?" A disaffected
12-year-old, I didn't know and I pretended like I didn't care. But
when Robert tried to fool me with a plastic magic trick that entailed
a penny "vanishing" in a rigged drawer about the size of a cigarette
box, it was too much. My dad coolly helped me snuff the little
brain's confidence by removing the penny altogether. The whelp was
flustered because his scam wasn't working. I thought he was going to
cry. (In retrospect, I'm glad he didn't.) Since that memorable pit stop in Sacramento during a family road trip up the West Coast, all information regarding cousin Robert has been filtered through the holiday family newsletter that my Auntie Wanda sends. In it, she has described him attending computer camp at MIT, participating in summer work programs at an aerospace company, and dabbling in other such activities. I wonder what my mom writes about me in response? When I encountered Robert's parents last summer, they mentioned that (1) he has comfortably settled in Silicon Valley and (2) they didn't think he'd be into Giant Robot because he's too much of a nerd. VOYAGE INTO INFINITY But what is a nerd? A nerd is a bumbler, a loser, and a misfit. He or she tries and wants to succeed at something, anything, but just can't pull it off. Closely related to nerds are geeks, people who specialize in something that's below - or beyond, depending on how you look at it - the mainstream's radar. There are role-playing game geeks, school band geeks, record store geeks, Magic geeks (not to be confused with geeks who do magic tricks), yarn-craft geeks, and more. In their fields, geeks have prestige and honor. With the evolution of pop and niche cultures, nerds are more often than not finding their calling as geeks. So much so that the two terms are almost interchangeable. As pure nerds have become rarer, their image has been appropriated by socially slumming impostors. Polyester-wearing hipsters with fake lisps, pale twigs behind turntables, big guys in Hawaiian shirts, and others, all united at the altar of Star Wars, have corrupted the original concept of the lowly nerd. Like the majors did to rock 'n' roll, punk, rap, and grunge, the mainstream has taken something raw and real, nerd culture, and turned it into an image to buy at the mall. In contrast, nerds that have become geeks are taking over the world. Internet artists formerly known as nerds are no longer socially challenged, culturally aloof fashion victims who get beat up in junior high school bathrooms. Today, nerds are the new predators, armed with their combination of new-school logic (gleaned from Dungeons & Dragons and other RPGs) and high-tech intuition (honed by years of Star Trek and video games). Meanwhile, their archenemy jocks are their prey, clutching their primitive physical prowess like teddy bears. Nerds are Homo erectus, scratching their asses with twigs instead of fingers. Jocks are Cro-mags, dragging their knuckles while looking for poison oak to wipe themselves on. When did the nerds and popular people trade places? The transition was the culmination of separate yet related developments that took place in such disparate locations as movie theaters, video arcades, all-ages shows, and Silicon Valley.  |