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GR: Yeah, he's planning a J Church summer tour. AP: You know he kicked me out of J Church by email, right? It was devastating. I put the computer voice on, and it was a little weird to be kicked out by the computer voice lady. Lance was fed up with my whole shtick and booted me out. |
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GR: What shtick is that? AP: I'm not hard rocking enough? I'm just bullshitting. He got new players, but I keep telling people he kicked me out. It's more fun that way. He was like, "Oh, when we tour or record I'll just grab youŠ" But, honestly, I think he's dug in Texas and just wants to play all the time. The guy has to rock. I love the man--even though he booted me via email. GR: What happened to Whysall Lane's plans to go on tour in a Winnebago? AP: We wussed out. It was going to be too expensive. We were really going to come down in a Dodge Caravan. You know what that is? It's like a tiny Subaru! There would have been no way, so we paid the extra eight bucks. We upgraded to the big E350. GR: What's the longest tour you'll go on now that you've got responsibilities like your two kids, video store, and record label? AP: Well, Mimi's out for summer. I offered to bring her along. She could have a great time hanging out and playing at the beach with my mom and sister. The longest I can go if I can get my sister and mom to stay at my house and help with the kids is a month. That's the most, meaning there'd have to be a break at home halfway through or I'd have to meet them on the East Coast where Lydia has family. GR: Wouldn't the store fall apart without you? AP: Are you kidding? They'd thrive without me. I'm like the janitor over there. Seriously, I'm the guy that goes around with the Dustbuster. I'm the guy who changes light bulbs and cleans up cat poop. I'm the guy who decides we have to saw the counter in half to make more room for shelves and then I fetch 14 dollars in quarters and 152 BIC pens from the slots between furniture. GR: Are you still riding your BMX? AP: The Hoffman dudes sent me a couple bikes. They sent one to Blake, too. So we rock the bikes. There's a really good skate spot at Junipero Sierra Elementary School where all these pros work it. It's an ollie to a bank. I can't do that, so I put a plank down for a little ramp and mess around on that. So, yeah, I'm still falling down and hurting myself. I made the mistake of jumping on my Fiber Flex skateboard with 70mm Kryptonics and bombed my hill. As soon as I jumped on my board I knew I was going to eat shit. Sure enough, I got down so fast and so quickly that I didn't know what to do. At the last second, I tried to put my food down, jumped off, and did a running thing in the air like in the Flintstones. I hit the ground trying to run, took two steps, and fucking face-planted. I could hear my flesh being torn from my body as I slid down Mission Street. It was so heavy. It was the worst. We played with Imperial Teen at Slim's for the Noise Pop festival afterward, and I got to the show with whiplash bleeding from three different places. It was devastating. It was not funny, but I rocked the mother-fucking house just like you knew I would. |