Your Yard Blows 09/09/08

Mini Garden Update: Your Lawn Blows. Atomic bomb cloud? That's a mini peach tree. It's looking strange being so constricted. This is something like foot binding. The hedge bush isn't pretty, it's almost non committal. Are you a hedge bush or aren't you? The strange tree on the left is strange, it's half domes, again more mushrooms. The rocks may have been a good start, but things went down after that. Sorry. Grade: D

I actually dig the landing strips on this lawn. Drink too much? Can't park the car straight? Use the landing strips to guide you. These are long strips up a driveway all planted with what looks like drought resistant succulents. Grade: B

Alient landing strip. If you follow this one, you'll wreck into the wall. The weird thing is that the two are actually neighbors. Competing landing strips can't be good. I'm not sure if a strip this tiny is a good thing. It's better than a big driveway that has nothing. Grade: B-

The White Planters. Around the corner from the first landing strip are the planters. Have these come back into style? Or are these cool? I'm noticing these more and more. These are huge white planters. They're actually quite powerful looking. Imagine have huge blocks of white. The plants that come out of it seem underwhelming. Maybe they need larger plants in front of it. Maybe they needed to be grey. There's a another landing strip type of piece in front of it. A lot of care was taken to make this yard. I'm not sure if the planters in white's the way to go. Grade: B-

Mini garden muff. This is like a muff just bumping out of a small spot. This is to separate the driveways. But that's not much of a driveway. It's another drought resistant plant. I'm into these actually, but this just isn't working. Grade: C+

Steppes of China. Maybe it's the shallow step up, the brick edges that separate the grass from the bit of flowers, but this reminds me of the hillside farming that goes on in China. Narrow grass, narrow everything. This isn't half bad actually for a space so tiny. Maybe this would have been cooler with drought resistant plants to go with the Spanish looking house. Maybe that's just too much. Grade: B

The Big Gate. The two columns side by side look like they're protecting a vault of gold. Does that door open or is it a draw bridge? Imagine if you were 4 inches tall in front of this door. Yeah, it's sort of like Dungeons and Dragons. The bad thing is that you can walk to the left or right of this in the gaps of the yard. I'll bet they thought these bushes would grow faster, but instead it's been sitting this way for a while. Wrong bushes? If I lived here, I'd never open this thing. Grade: D

The Corner. This has to be the most appealing corner in the world. If you're a dog. It's the right height, not for a human, but for a dog. It's tall enough where if you were lifting a leg, the person in the house couldn't see you. If this wall was 6 feet tall, drug deals would happen here. Graffiti would be all over this wall, but instead, rogue animals make deals here. Did you know dogs can communicate through pee? That little splash there is a break for freedom between neighborhood dogs about to go down. They usually get caught.