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Motherfuckerland, Installment 13

(Art by spoon+fork.) Saint Maximilian Kolbe, the Roman Catholic Church I went to before my father freaked out, was also the place where I went to get my flu shot.  It was especially terrifying because Maximilian was killed by a lethal injection in the arm by the Nazis.  Who designated this church to give shots? My Sunday school teacher told me that despite how crass and crude the Italian race was, they hadn’t lost the True Religion, and that was to their credit.  The English had broken from God because Henry VIII was horny, she told me.   I was six. If you didn’t do the rosary everyday, you could lose your faith.  The devil was real and was always working...

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Motherfuckerland, a New Novel in Installments

(Hello and welcome to my serial novel. Art by spoon+fork.) Everything was going great until she wanted to talk about two things I hated:  California and family. The latter because I didn’t really have one and the former because everyone from there was rich or at least well-off and looked down on New Jersey.  Ever since a surfing magazine listed Shore Points as one of the top places to catch a wave on the East Coast, communes of college kids from L.A. would rent out entire houses for the summer and hog up our beach.  The chamber of commerce even ran ads out there to get more California kids over. You could tell they weren’t local because they wore expensive...

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